A Tale of Two Carnies

8 - Jason Takes A Pass

Mister Greene's partner and Cozbi's father, Hezekiah Miraslova, passed away on Cozbi's seventeenth birthday. Of course, it was a terrible time for her, but it affected me too. Being the only young people with the troupe, we had naturally grown close. I worried she would leave the carnival and didn't know what I would do without her. It made me realize how strong my feelings had grown toward her.

Being in close quarters while working the carnival, we ended up spending a lot of time together. Our relationship stayed mostly professional.

Mostly.

After hours, we sometimes went out. I'd take her to a movie, or she would buy me dinner, but she regarded me only as a protective big brother. I made no secret about wanting more, but she wouldn't let me do anything other than kiss her goodnight. I didn't think it was me, because she also shut down any townie who tried hitting on her. She simply had no interest.

Until the night of her father's funeral. I had just gone to bed when I heard a timid knock at my trailer door. Rubbing sleep from my eyes and wearing only my underwear, I opened my door a crack.

Cozbi stood there, staring at me.

Her father had just been put into the ground and I didn't know what she wanted. I didn't know what to say.

"Cozbi?"

She said nothing. She placed a palm to my chest and pushed me. I backpedaled. She entered my trailer and shut the door behind her.

"Cozbi, if you want to talk, let me put on some pants."

She unzipped her shorts, pushed them from her hips, and allowed them to puddle to the floor around her ankles. "I don't want to talk." She wrapped her arms around my neck and crushed her lips to mine.

I became lost in the moment and let the pleasurable sensations flow all around and through me as we groped each other's bodies, pulling off our remaining clothes.

And then, an inexplicable and unwelcome thought invaded my mind. I envisioned Clint, and how he took advantage of my mother when she had been in a vulnerable state after having lost Dad. I loathed that man, and I wasn't going to become like him.

Groaning, I pulled away from the girl of my dreams. I caught my breath. "Not like this, Cozbi."

She cocked her head, looked me in the eye, but said nothing.

"You lost your father and are alone. I get it. You're looking for a human connection. I'm always here for you, and I do want you, but only if you're clear eyed about what you're doing and not confused."

She said nothing.

"Stay with me. Sleep with me. I'll hold you, but I'm not going to take advantage."

She said nothing and got dressed.

I just watched her, questioning whether I was out of my freaking mind for allowing my fantasy to go unfulfilled or if I was doing the right thing.

She went to the door, said goodnight, and left.

Cozbi stayed on with the carnival, because she had no other known family and no place else to go.

That had happened a year ago.

Now I was twenty and she was eighteen, both of us legal adults. It seemed inevitable to me that Cozbi and I would end up together. I continued to make my feelings known to her.

She confessed that she cared about me and loved me in her own way, but she wasn't willing to go down a romantic path, worrying how intimacy might wreck our friendship if things didn't work out. She also thanked me for not giving in to her that night and acknowledged it would've been a mistake.