Children of the Fallen: In Cold Blood (BOOK #2)

Chapter 17: Welcoming Darkness

Dane Brooks

16 Years Ago

I lay with my back pressed against the cold concrete floor. Staring up at the same ceiling I've been looking at for the past three years. It's given me a lot of time to ruminate. I ruined so much because I thought I could fix everything and avoid anyone getting hurt but every single person I tried to help or protect ended up hurt.

This whole thing was to protect Morgan. I really fucked that one up. I can only hope one day she could find a way back to herself. Lucien has a way of taking everything about you and warping it to such an extent that when you find yourself on the other side of his torment you're completely unrecognizable.

I pieced myself together but the cracks were obvious. At least to me. I put on a good show to Lucien and everyone else, pretending to be the animal he wanted me to be. And I put on a good show for myself, pretending to be okay. I think I pretended to be some version of myself at any given moment so much so that I kinda lost myself in the many masks I wore. I actually don't think I truly know who I am.

All my thoughts and actions rarely matched up. I could stare into a mirror all I wanted but the person staring back never looked like me.

How I grew up, the things I was made to do, the things I endured should've destroyed me. It should've permanently tore away any semblance of humanity I had and left me a genuine monster. As much as I felt like one I knew I never truly was because no matter how many times I killed and tortured I never became desensitized to it. Even as a mislead child some tiny part of me felt like it was wrong. I still remember every single person I killed. I remember the way the light left their eyes, their screams, their blood, their tears, everything. To this day, guilt twists in my stomach over each one.

As much as it hurts I'm glad that I still feel that. I clung to it, I clung to anything that resembled humanity if not for my own sanity but out of spite. For my whole childhood I was taught that humans were nothing more than food or entertainment but once I learned how much humanity entails I realized how incorrect that was. From then on I refused to give Lucien the satisfaction of successfully turning me into the monster he wanted me to be. So I played pretend. Growing up with him I thought that our relationship was normal. The default father son bond. I actually felt what could be considered love for him. He was my father, my mistake for thinking that meant something.

It wasn't until I was around 19 and was finally allowed out of the confines of the cities and observed human father son relationships, hell even lycan or witch ones; smiling and laughing with each other, tossing a ball- every damn cliche in the book and I felt jealous. I couldn't for the life of me understand why the fathers were being like this. I sat and watched waiting for the punishment, the rants about being weak, the coldness and I was beyond shocked when there were none. That was the first time I had wished I was human. I thought that if I was, if Lucien was then maybe we could be like that. Maybe I wouldn't have to do these horribly violent things that didn't make me feel good and maybe he wouldn't yell at me or hurt me. The more I existed out in the world, the more I saw, the more I realized that our relationship was never normal. He was never my father and I was never his son. I was a soldier and he was my overseer.

The cell door flings open, startling me. Lucien enters the room, manhandling Morgan's arm practically dragging her in here. "Morgan?"

He turns on the light and takes the key ring off the wall. With the light on I look down at his hand to see an obsidian dagger. The obsidian dagger. He slams it down into Morgan's shaking hand. "Kill him."

"Father, please." She glances down at the blade with this worrying look in her eyes then back up to Lucien. Don't try it, he'll kill you. I think to myself hoping she somehow hears me.

"I'm granting you one last visit with him. Be happy." He unlocks my cell door opening it up and shoving Morgan into it. Standing at the threshold, even if my chains wouldn't allow me that much reach- I use my speed to make some attempt at fighting him but he stops me with his hand tightening around my throat.

"No!" Morgan yells.

"Quiet!" He tightens some more. Grimacing, staring at me with such disdain. He throws me backwards and my back crashes against the stone wall. "You will drive that through his heart. If you don't I will kill him anyway, except I will drag it out." He turns to me. "You know I will."

He will, he's been doing it but with that threat he'll take it up a notch. He'll find new and creative ways to torture me everyday for years on end. "I hate you." I spit at him.

"And I loved you. Gave you the world and you betray me."

"You gave me nothing."

"You were always my weakest child. I have faith that this one will be smarter. Better, if she just does what she's asked. Get rid of him." He commands. He checks his watch briefly. "It's now 1:35. You have one minute if he's not dead by then I will leave you in here to starve and watch his suffering that you will have caused." He shuts the cell door, locking it as he looks through me.

"Don't make me do this." Morgan pleads yet her voice remains stoic.

"Keep begging like a pathetic coward. I'll starve you for the fun of it." He steps back staring at the two of us with his arms crossed. "Well go on. I won't say another word."

Morgan's eyes go back and forth between my own. I take a deep breath. "Do it." I say raising my hands out leaving my torso open. She subtly shakes her head. "I will not give him the satisfaction of tormenting me and I won't allow you to suffer along with me. Do it."

"Dane." She says through gritted teeth.

"Morgan. Do it." I step closer to her my arms still outstretched. "It's okay."

She shakes her head no, looking down at the floor.

"It's okay." I say stepping closer. "Please. Do it."

She looks over at Lucien with a cold stare, rivaling his own. Her hand gripping the knife, she looks back at me with a lightened facial expression. Her eyes expressing a million sorry's, that I know she's unable to say in front of Lucien. "I know." I nod at her. "You're a good person, Morgan."

Her face drops for a split second as sorrow and love and rage flash within her eyes. A small barely perceivable saddened smile forms on her lips. She glances at Lucien then as she turns her head back to me her face contorts with anger seconds before I feel the dagger plunge into my chest. Tearing through my flesh and my heart. I feel the initial sharp pain and an aching in my chest but only for a brief moment. I look down at the dagger that's ending my life. Feeling... relieved. Morgan's eyelids flutter struggling in the battle against her own emotions but something within them cracks.

I don't know what waits for me after death but in the moment I don't care. I'm reveling in my relief. She lowers me down to the ground where once more I feel the cold concrete that's been my home for the last three years of my life. "Thank." I breathe. "You."

I force a small smile to reassure her when a sudden wave of warmth washes over me. It's so comforting and gentle andI let it consume me as I fade into the welcoming darkness.