Fireworks 3 and 4

Chapter Fifty

    Drake leaned back in his studio chair, balancing a pen between his fingers. He was supposed to be penning music about his son, but Mia was clouding his mind. He tilted his head back and brought a closed fist up to his forehead. The Mia thing will sort itself out, he told himself. But this music is important. It deserves my focus right now. Not quite effective in pushing the images of her out of his mind. Deciding to take a small break so he could work through his shit, he flipped on some music, unreleased production tracks from 40. Then he stood from his chair and moved to sit on the couch at the back of his studio.

    The thoughts of Mia that were flooding his mind were stubborn. They didn't want to leave. He wouldn't be able to focus on anything else until he worked her out of his mind. He murmured random arrangements of words to himself. Idle mental exercise and nothing more, as evidenced by the fact that he wasn't writing the words down or typing them into his phone. He just sang them aloud and allowed himself to picture Mia, imagine the taste of her lips. Instead of forcing the thoughts out, he welcomed them and experienced them. 

"You and me so fire,

You and me so fire,

'Cause you take me higher.

Started this empire,

The situation turned dire

When she called me a liar,

But we pulled through the wire

Since you and me so fire.

You and me so fire,

You and me so fire,

Don't want part of you,

I want the entire.

Because you took the time

To listen to my rhyme,

So this time let me lift you higher.

Wanna lift you higher,

Gotta lift you higher,

Cause you lifted me and together we're so fire."

    Elementary rhymes. Nothing worthy of writing or recording. Just thoughts and feelings. He reached over and grabbed the hookah pipe draped over the arm of the couch. Sliding closer to it, he mulled over more words in his head while turning the machine on. 

"My heart was broken when we faded to black,

and ever since I've been trying to get you back,

I know if I fuck up another man will pick up the slack,

but baby girl, let me know I'm on the right track.

Apologies and serenades,

Compliments and accolades,

All of these are just words...

Pretty words to warm you up to me,

I know I must do more 'cause you see through me,

You know I ain't shit but how do I do better?

Follow the wise Aaliyah and write you a 4-page letter?

Now I'm just rambling because it's an excuse to think about you,

An excuse to ask your advice because I'd never doubt you,

An excuse to ask your advice because I trust you,

No one else makes me feel this way, just you."

    He took a puff of the pipe and allowed his head to fall back on the couch headrest. These were some of the most peaceful moments of his life, when he was in the studio alone. No conversations or distractions, not even from his own friends. Just vibes of the music playing over the speakers and the growing clouds of smoke filling the room.

    For hours he sat that way, alternating between smoking hookah, rapping or singing random lyrics, and taking all of the elements of his life and attempting to form them together like some sort of puzzle. Trying to figure out how everything in his life fit together. Would his son like him? Would Mia love his son as much as he predicted he'd love him? What kind of stepmother would she be? Would she have any interest in being his wife, after everything he'd done? She had come to visit him when she was most likely nowhere near his neighborhood. She had played a little game of cat and mouse with him earlier. With those things considered, it felt like they had a chance of working things out. But it seemed that whenever she felt they were getting to close, she backed away from him...caught herself before she went too far with him. She wants to be with me, but doesn't want to allow herself to be with me, he thought now, staring through the cloudy haze above his head. She probably feels like she'll be letting all of womanhood down by forgiving me and taking me back. She probably feels stupid for even considering taking me back, and all of those things she's feeling are my fault. I've painted her into a corner where she can't even have what she wants without feeling like an idiot. His heart felt heavy at the thought. 

    So, what do I do with that? he asked himself, agitatedly standing from the couch and pacing through the smoke until it cleared a path for him. Instead of flirting with her and trying to get at her, I should've been trying to figure out a way that she can take me back without getting roasted for it in the press. I should've been trying to figure out a way that makes it okay for her to take me back. 

    It would put his creativity to the test. He didn't even know where to begin...but he knew that figuring out a plan would be worth it, in the long run. What was on the table? A public apology in the form of an interview. Maximum embarrassment for him, but it would help people to understand what had happened and understand how sorry he was for it. In Mia's eyes, he'd publicly humiliated her; his apology should also be public. Also on the table was allowing her some time to get her own lick back. Even though that option didn't necessarily fit her personality, it was an option. Too many options were better than too little. He could dedicate [another] song to her, or an entire album. With the level of fuck up, she deserved an entire album. But again...he hated the idea of profiting off of his fuck up. I could record it and send it to her without releasing it to the public, he thought but he was fooling himself if he thought he could keep those tracks hidden in the vault. It would only be a matter of time before tracks like those leaked to the public. Maybe he could dedicate something else to her...a music video, or something. Shopping trips wouldn't appeal to her, not when it came to redeeming himself for his mistakes. 

    "I was a fool to think that I could just resolve this in one brainstorming session," he muttered disappointedly. None of the options were good enough for her. The interview was something that would have to happen - even though he'd already apologized to her once publicly. It still didn't feel like enough. She deserved more, so he would have to figure out how to give her more. 

    With a defeated sigh, he returned to the couch. On that couch, he closed his eyes and dreamed of her. Working her out of his mind was proving to be more difficult than he'd originally anticipated.

~~~~~~

    Across town, in a swanky hotel, a tall brunette knelt down to a toddler, gently pinching one of his cheeks. Entertainment news blared in the background, with a pair of blonde news show hosts attempting to use paparazzi photos to determine whether or not Drake and Mia really were giving their love a second chance. "It has been way too long, love. It's about time that your daddy has gotten to know you and spend time with you. What do you think?"