Undercover - In China - Book 7

Part 59 - More Petty Cunning

After he had destroyed Steep Slope Bridge, Zhang Fei retreated with two thousand horsemen chasing him. He had met up with Xuande but they were still outnumbered and surrounded as they took up a defensive position on a small hill. At the last minute, Lord Guan arrived with cavalry from Xiacou and Cho Cho's men retreated fearing another of Kongming's traps.

Lord Guan was amazed by Kongming's prescient thinking. 'It was as if he could predict the future.' Afterwards they met up with Lui Qi and Kongming who arrived with a fleet of boats which carried everyone except the cavalry down the Han River. When we reached Xiacou (Wuhan), Lu Su was waiting for Kongming and they immediately departed to a conference with Sun Quan at the Red Cliffs camp.

'We could have retreated in peace, Zhang Fei,' Xuande joked, 'But when you pulled the bridge down, Cho Cho realized there was no trap waiting.  He might still have been sitting there, afraid to cross the river.

'You're never satisfied,' grumbled Zhang Fei with a grin. 'With a little help from these young people at Steep Slope, I defeated Cho Cho's army without a fight.

Lord Guan turned to me, laughing. 'Xia-Dian. You were there. Tell us what really happened at the bridge.'

'It was all true,' Zhang Fei protested. 'But I must admit Deng Fu's impression of Kongming helped.'

'All I did was laugh,' Deng Fu chuckled. 'It was young Xi-Dian's idea. He dressed me up in Kongming's robes.'

'We had some help from Zhang Lee's Thunder-Voice wand,' I added. 'And, Zhang Fei's men stirred up a dust cloud to make it look like an ambush.'

'It was really funny.' Zhang shook with laughter. 'My bunch looked like a gang of ghostly grey, terracotta warriors like those made for the first emperor. Cho Cho was so scared, he almost fell of his horse.'

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Nothing happened for the next few days. Which was nice because we were able to wash ourselves and our dirty clothes and catch up on sleep. On the third day Chen Ling arrived in Grandpa's boat with a message from Kongming which Lord Guan quickly decoded. 'Zhou Yu has adopted our plan of attack.'

I stared. 'Our plan?'

Lord Guan laughed as Licia translated. 'Pang Tong, one of Kongming's spies, convinced Cho Cho to chain his boats together so his men won't get seasick. Meanwhile, Huang Gei is loading sampans with bags of sulphur, saltpetre and dry reeds, soaked in fish oil, and Kongming is using occult methods to call forth an east wind.'

'Let me guess,' Licia said innocently. 'Huang Gei sent a message to Cho Cho announcing his planned defection from Lord Guan, so Cho Cho won't be suspicious when his sampans cross the river to Cho Cho's camp.'

'Fire ships!' Miguel exclaimed. We all laughed.

Zhang Fei came in sheepishly holding his new helmet. It looked more like a battered work of art than a piece of armour. The gold and silver filigree was gashed and dented and two long peacock feathers were broken. 'I took it off, so it wouldn't get scratched,' Zhang Fei said, 'and some dull-witted peasant, with no appreciation for fine art, had the temerity to throw an axe.'

Lord Guan snorted into his tea cup. 'Xuande had this magnificent helmet made for you, as a birthday present, because the old one was a joke, and then you didn't wear it!'

Zhang Fei scratched his beard and grumbled, 'What am I going to tell Xuande?'

He had hidden the new helmet by the time two big hunting dogs arrived with Xuande in tow. As we were all engrossed in the elaborate greeting ritual, servants arrived with a large meal and we all started eating again. Zhang Fei helped himself to a large mug of beer and slurped noisily.

'Yide,' Xuande admonished, 'I really think you are drinking too much beer. You are getting fat. You should drink more tea?'

Zhang Fei put his mug down reluctantly, picked up Lord Guan's cup and sniffed noisily. 'You call this tea?' He tipped the empty tea pot. 'It's too weak to come out of the pot! The water ghosts have urine stronger than this! I'll stick to beer.'

Lord Guan found the new helmet and stuck it on Zhang Fei's head. 'What do you think of that?' he asked Xuande.

'Aah. Now that looks more like Zhang Fei,' Xuande laughed. 'More sort of . . . professional. After all, you wouldn't like him looking better dressed than you, Yunchang?'

Zhang Fei almost choked on his beer. 'With his ancient, mouldy, green surcoat? Ha, ha, ha!'

While everyone was busy eating, Xuande announced that they had to be in the Black Forest, the following day, to assist Zhou Yu's army as it attacked across the river. He suggested that we meet with Kongming before he left his Seven Star Tower where he was conjuring up the east wind.

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