Not Thinking Anymore

Ok! New Theory

So recently a new theory has come to light that I had no idea existed. I mean yeah, it's an old theory and maybe I am living under a rock. Either way, I have a platonic male friend with whom I mostly joke around or discuss philosophy.

The earth stopped rotating around its axis (for me) when he gave his views on what a woman wants. According to him, every woman craves a frame to lean on. Subconsciously or consciously that is what all females desire. This said frame could be from the financial aspect, emotional aspect, or sexual aspect but that is what XX species want. 

See I am no feminist but still the statement offended me a lot. Being born and brought up in a joint family where the women of the house cook, wash, and clean and the men go out and earn made me borderline hate the sexist approach of our society. And the mere notion of this statement that a woman is in any way dependent on any sort of frame just doesn't sit right with me.

Judging my anger, this man said that women don't NEED a framework, they are perfectly capable of managing their shit on their own. It's the men who struggle to get their work in order. But, women WANT a frame to lean on. They want to have a male who can, if not completely take then at least share their burden. Basically, we are hard-wired to desire this support and men are hard-wired to provide it. 

He and I agreed to disagree on this because whatever he said goes starkly against my beliefs. I want nothing more than to be independent, both financially and emotionally. Working in the hospital I have seen my fair share of women who are independent and happy on their own. I want to be like that and the presence or absence of a man (or anyone for that matter) should not affect my life in any manner. That is my current goal, to be truly happy and thriving all by myself. His statement contradicted my dreams.

This conversation bothered me so as a clueless idiot would do, I called my female friend, Meenu. Now imagine if an alien species comes onto the planet and two officials are given the job to gather as much as knowledge possible regarding these new variants. Meenu and I were these two officials and the boys were the alien. She was the one with whom I discussed boys. Have been in a few relations she understood men better than me but the XY species surprised both of us with new facts every once in a while. (Men are strange creatures. Understanding the behavior of male species is far more complex than females.)

I told her the entire conversation and demanded her view on the topic. To my utter surprise, she agreed with his statement. She tried to explain to me that if we consider only wants, then don't we all want some ideal man to come into our lives, who must be loving, caring, respectful, and loyal?  Someone who does not offer solutions but just listens to our shit. And somewhere deep deep deep down we also want this man to take our responsibilities and worries.

Her words, not mine.

Yes, I do desire someone's love, care, and admiration and it would be pretty nice If someone could make me a cup of tea when I am having a headache or cuddle at the end of a bad day but does that mean I am finding someone to lean on? 

I don't know. Most probably I am overthinking it but it just irks me. And if it is in any way true then why are we hard-wired like this? Why does a woman want this frame? Most importantly, does this means that even if I end up a billionaire and filthy rich still I would be unhappy because I am single and have no one to "lean on"?

 I have been thinking and overthinking about this a lot (as usual). Hence, decided to write this down. If anyone is reading this kindly tell me your views because I cannot choose a side for the life of me.