Does He Do It Like I Do It

Chapter Eighteen

"I can't believe we did it, Rocky!" Jodeci yelled over all the other voices in the auditorium and then dived into the numerous hugs she was getting from other students.

I buckled down during the summer as well as the entire year of school. If it wasn't for school, I only came outside to help Jodeci study at her house if she asked. I passed with a 4.0 GPA and got an acceptance letter for every college I applied to. I hadn't brought up to my father that I was going to school to study business and human relations. I know he had high hopes of me being either a vet or a therapist. I just didn't want to put time into something that I ultimately would be unhappy doing. He struggled once the divorce was settled with him and my mother. I don't think he ever prepared for the aftermath of it all. He had been with my mother for years, so I knew it was going to be hard for him to adapt to a life without her. I considered going to MCC for a year just to give him some more time not to be alone but he persistently told me not to worry about him. As long as he wasn't drinking again I guess I could trust it.

I tucked my graduation cap underneath my arm and fixed the hair that I had loosely curled on my shoulders. I looked around for my dad and once I noticed him and the bouquet of roses he had in his hand, I instantly started to cry. He had been trying so hard to make my life perfect and I know he blamed himself for the last year but we both contributed to the chaos that became our lives. I walked over to him, bobbing and weaving in between other people hugging their parents. He spotted me and started walking toward me with a smile on his face.

"I'm so proud of you, Snookie," he said to me with tears filling his eyes.

I pulled him in close and wrapped my arms around him for a hug. I closed my eyes to bask at the moment and when I opened them I saw my mother and Meeka coming toward us. I hadn't seen my mom or her mistress since that day Aunt Alana told us that Tizzy was dead. I respected her not reaching out to me and giving me space but now I feel the awkwardness arising. I backed away from my dad and tucked my hair behind my ears. They approached us and I gave my mother a weak smile.

"You look beautiful, Roxanne," she said to me. My response was a nod.

Everyone looked at each other awkwardly and I tried to find an excuse to leave.

"Can I talk to you alone, Roxanne?" My mother asked.

"Sure."

She leaned in and kissed Meeka on the cheek and it immediately made me want to revolt. I turned away and walked to the side. Once she was in front of me she reached out as if she was going to touch my hand but then stopped herself.

"I just wanted to say how proud I am of you. I know I was ... tough on you. It was only because I wanted you to be great."

"I would have been great regardless. Mom, you never once asked me what I wanted. What I wanted to do. Who I wanted to be. Whilst I can acknowledge what you were doing, the pressure you put on me broke me."

I looked over my mother's shoulder and saw Meeka hovering close by. I stared into my mother's eyes again, my jaw tightening.

"You leaving this family broke me."

"Roxanne, please! I know it's hard for you to see it from my perspective. It was never my intention to hurt you."

I held my hand up to stop her rant.

"It is what it is, Mom. I've graduated and I'm moving soon anyway. Whatever happened is in the past and I'm preparing for my future."

"Can you ... can you ever forgive me for what I've done?"

I looked at my mother and then kissed her cheek.

"Already forgiven."

I gave her a half smile and then walked away. I didn't have the time to go back and forth with her about her feeling sorry for herself. It was time for me to move on from everything that was going on here. I walked out of the auditorium and went toward where my car was parked in the lot. Jodeci was waiting by it, still waving and hugging people. She turned around and saw me coming toward her and smiled widely.