Stupid Feelings for Stupid Boys

Helpless (E.M)

I keep doing this to myself. I keep thinking about you, when I know that I shouldn't. I have no self-control when it comes to you. I keep telling myself that I'm going to move on and get over you, but that never really happens. No matter what I do you're always there; I can't escape.

There are moments when I feel like you feel it too. That time when we took all those pictures and we were just laughing and enjoying ourselves... I loved that. Maybe I'm fooling myself. Or maybe, just maybe, you do feel something for me... that is... until the moment ends. And then you go back to treating me like I'm invisible.

When those moments end I have this feeling that you don't want me around. Like I'm just a burden to you that you have to put up with, and you would jump at any opportunity to get away from me. You probably want nothing to do with me. It's not like you choose to spend time with me anyways.

I hate feeling like this. I can't do anything to stop this. It's not like I could tell you how I feel. You would probably feel weirded out by me and thing would be even more awkward than they are now. You would avoid me more. I won't even  let myself entertain the thought of you responding in a good way, because let's face it, the chances of that happening are very very very slim.

How could you possibly like me and still talk about/ mention other girls around me. Little do you know that every time you do that, my heart takes a heavy blow. And I can't even get mad about it because you don't know how it's affecting me.

I don't know what to do about you... I just feel so helpless.