Stupid Feelings for Stupid Boys

Why? (E.M)

Why?

That's all I want to know. Why?

Why are you intentionally pushing me out of your life? Why are you acting like everything is fine when we see each other in person? Why don't you ever talk to me? Why are you putting extra effort to somehow stay away from me?

What did I ever do to you? What did I say or do to make you feel the need to distance yourself?

All these questions are constantly nagging at the back of my mind, tearing me apart from the inside. And I hate myself for feeling this way over something so petty. After all it's just social media, right? You blocked me. Yet you follow people I know that you don't spend as much time with as you do with me.

Maybe I'm overreacting. But it feels like more than that to me. Like you're trying to tell me something by it. Like deep down you don't want to spend any time with me but you're forced to because you're best friends with my brother. And then I feel guilty for making you be around me.
But there are other times where you'll tease me or mess with me, and I think maybe just maybe you don't actually hate me. I'll catch you're eyes on me and I wonder if you feel it too. I always do that though. I let that hope sink in. But how could you if your actions show otherwise.

Besides you're talking to someone now. And she's great. I even encouraged you to go for her, so I have no right to feel jealous or upset. But I do. And it hurts hearing about it.

I just wish I could read you're mind to know what you think of me; if you even think of me at all. Then I think, what if I don't want to know the answer? What if my suspicions are confirmed and you really do hate me?