Thought Spiraling

Undone

You were everything to me.
I held my future to you
And you enveloped it in the most loving of grasps
I finally felt what it meant to matter to someone

What we had was real and deep
We hurt together
Over similar pasts
We built a love together
On hopes of a better future
Two fractured beings collided and melding together
As a whole
I thought we would be whole together forever

But I remember how you changed
Suddenly, you didn't want to talk anymore
You grew paranoid
Angry, hateful
You created fights out of nothing
You never slept, you never ate

I realized you weren't mine anymore
We were no longer whole
Because you'd been swallowed by what you believed would numb you of your pain
When I didn't even know you'd become distracted by it
I wish you'd told me
Maybe you'd still be here today

Maybe then I wouldn't have seen you
Take your last hit
Of that 'medicine' for your pain
To watch you lose yourself
Lose your life

Has left me undone

I will always have that pain now