she rushes around her room, thrashing through her messy unorganized drawers full of unfolded wrinkly clothes
she sighs, nothing
so she goes into her closet, ripping clothes off their hangers and holding them up to herself
another sigh, "still not thin enough to wear any of this"
with no success she storms over back to her bed that has piles of clothes she washed weeks ago
digging through each item making some of them slip and fall off the bed she finally finds clothes she thinks will do
she tries the pants on but she already knows
they don't fit.
the feeling of the material getting tighter and tighter as they reach her thighs, she struggles and does a little jump, the pants slide over her legs
she goes over to the mirror to see how she looks, this won't end well
she notices how the pants make her hips look smaller, her fat in poking out from over the waistline, her thighs are making the material bunch, her ass looks way flatter than usual
"is it always that flat?"
of course it is
her eyes water and a tear rolls down her face as she feels herself starting to spiral
her arms are so flabby and fat, why does her stomach poke out at the top, why are her boobs so small, why is her face so round, she has to stop eating so much her double chin has gotten bigger
she's crying and picking at herself
she hates everything she sees and no matter how much she tries, she doesn't think there will be a day she won't
"im just gonna stay home"
she rips the clothes off of her body as if there were microscopic needles hidden in them
she cries stomping trying to rip the pants that barely fit her off, why are they so hard to get off? why did she have to push them over her stupid ugly fat saggy thighs
she finally manages to rip them off and throws them across the room
she grabs her familiar sweats and oversized shirt
no need to look in the mirror
