"Pretty Girl"

06 - holy shit

Malorie's POV:

Would it be weird? Does she want me to watch her? It feels wrong. Stalker-ish.

I can't. I close the blinds and slide down the wall.

Oh, god. What am I doing to this girl?

No. No. No. I pressured her. No. Oh, god. I'm corrupting her.

I let out a groan before starting to sob. What is the matter with me? Why did I do this? I knew I couldn't do this, so why did I?

"No, no, no," I whisper to myself. I feel sick to my stomach. Did I force her to do this?

I run to the bathroom and throw up. I'm shaking. My vision is blurry with tears, and my sobs are so loud, but I can still make out her voice.

"Malorie. Hey," she says, picking me up. She places me on my bed.

"No don't touch me! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Oh- god!" I run to the bathroom and throw up again.

"What's going on? What happened?" She asks. I look at her. I start to hyperventilate.

"Malorie. Hey." She puts her hands on my face.
"Hey. I'm okay. You're okay, too!"

"No! No! Did I force you, Baylie?!" She shakes her head.

"No. No!" She says. She sits me down on my bed.

"No. You didn't. I- when you asked if I was ready.. I panicked because I got nervous. Not because I don't want to have sex with you."

"I've.. I've thought about it since- I saw you in this dress. I wanted to kiss you. And.. I imagined kissing other places.. too." She slides the strap down my shoulder.

"I wanted you to watch me, Mal. And that little act was.. frustration. Because kids at school were laughing at me because I fell for some stupid sex joke."

"You didn't force me to anything at all. I never want you to think that, Mal. I actually wanted you to touch me but you seemed uncomfortable so I left." I look at her.

"Oh?" She kisses my shoulder.
"No. I'm not uncomfortable. I.. just- feel really guilty because you're-"

"Innocent." I look at her.

"You're scared to corrupt me. But that's the thing. I want you to. I want you to touch me. And kiss me. And.. teach me things I didn't know I liked. I want you to make me feel what I just felt, but better."

"Baylie," I whisper. She stands up.

"I'm sorry." She starts to walk out.

"Baylie." She turns around.
"Come here." She comes over to me. I lean against my headboard and motion her to my lap. She straddles me again.

"Listen to me, sweetheart."

"Okay," she says. I move her hair out of her face.

"I think.. we should take it slow. Until you're more experienced with yourself, and I.. am in the right place mentally. Because- the amount of guilt I feel isn't normal. I know that."

"The thoughts that are being put into my head are brutal. And I know.. if we go far.." my voice cracks.

"You're gonna think you raped me.." she says. I look down. She makes me look up at her. My lip quivers.

"I don't know why I'm like this, Baylie!" I start to sob. She wraps her arms around me. I bury my head into her chest and let her hold me. Stroke my hair. Leave kisses on my head.

"Are you gonna get help?" I nod.

"My therapist canceled on me. She can't fit me in until Wednesday."