Stop It Shinnosuke!

Chapter 46

The subsequent week passed just as smoothly as it would for a bunch of high schoolers giving exam, and that meant not smooth at all. However, the extreme expression of joy was visible when everyone got over with their last exam. Some kids rejoicing their failed attempts at passing the exams, because it didn't really matter now that it was finally over, and some slumping around because of two missed questions. Anyhow, it would be totally safe to assume that everyone was happy, one way or the other, that the days of misery were not returning for the next months or so.

Not Kazama though. He wasn't happy. Oh, if anything, he was far from happy. After being ever so courageous and trying to hold hands with Shinnosuke, he was done trying anything more and pretty much secluded himself from all possible interactions with everyone around him in the name of studying. And as valid as the reason seemed to Nene, Masao and Bo, Kazama could feel it in his bones that Shinnosuke was not convinced, at all.

It was an upsetting fact for him that the exams were over, meaning that he was now expected to interact like normal humans do. And he didn't mind it particularly. He just hated confrontations, that's all there was to it.

Shinnosuke did a pretty great job at smoothing things over between them, making use of what little interactions they had over the week. This made Kazama feel a little more better about talking to Shinnosuke, regarding his... actions, from before.

But now that they were finally sitting together, waiting for others to arrive, the awkwardness was too saturated to not notice. The worst part being that somehow Shinnosuke suddenly seemed like the most awkward creature put on earth.

"Exams were rough," Kazama dryly smiled, hoping that everybody else would arrive already so they could go home. Shinnosuke nodded and hummed, going back to frantically shaking his legs while deep in thought.

Kazama sighed, at wit's end on what else to say. Then, as if to relieve him from the worry, Shinnosuke spoke up, "I did bad at section 2."

"What?" Kazama's eyes lit up, "Oh, that. But we went over that, right? I taught you how to prove that theorem."

"Yeah, but I forgot," Shinnosuke grinned, resting his head at Kazama's Shoulder, "And well, you couldn't really complete the lesson that time."

"I would have, if it weren't for a troublemaker," he commented back, adjusting himself to make room for Shinnosuke to rest comfortably on his shoulder, not minding it because now it atleast felt not as awkward anymore.

Over the said week, Kazama did much thinking about his own feelings, about his friendship and what the word like meant for him.

He liked Shinnosuke. Sure, he did.

But did he like Shinnosuke?

Any answer his mind came up with in that moment of wondering wasn't sufficient enough to be satisfactory. He was desperately holding onto the reasoning that Shinnosuke was his best friend, hence why he reached his hand out to him.

Such a lie, Kazama had thought, because he knew that whatever his intentions were at that time, they were far from anything platonic. If anything, his intentions of holding Shinnosuke's hand were the most non-platonic thing to ever exist.

Even now, with Shinnosuke's head resting gently on his shoulder, he couldn't help but wonder why should he have to stop himself from holding his hand, from squeezing his arm, from resting his own forehead against his.

Nothing was stopping him, but himself. And with this he realised, right in that moment, that he had never actually acknowledged his feelings and thoughts out loud like this. Atleast, to himself. It felt thrilling to think about it like that.