Losing Grip | Sabigiyuu

Little glass soul

🐉 Question of the day : do you prefer Melanie Martinez OR Jazmin bean ? I think both are amazing 🐉

Reminder of the ages:
Sabito: 15
Giyuu:15
Makomo:14
I apologize if I ever use the wrong age for them! Like if I say that sabito is 14 but actually his 15 now
~~~~

There he is.
"Sabito?" He asked , he seemed to be a bit sleepy.
Here goes nothing.
"Grab your pillow, sleepover in my room" I said , I'm sure he was about to say no," and I don't accept a no" There we go , now he has to sleep in my room.
Again this fuzzy feeling , No matter what I do I can't control it around him.
After a few seconds of what felt like long drawn out minutes, he finally grabbed his pillow and walked with me into my room in utter silence.

~~~

I often tried to ignore this cheesy feeling but whenever he's around me my heartbeat goes faster and faster , it's like I'm passing out.
I haven't told anyone about it yet , I just think it's not manly and pretty embarrassing.
We both sat down on my bed , it was big enough for both of us.
I wonder what he's thinking right now?
After a few more minutes of silence, Giyuu placed his pillow in a comfortable position and lays himself down , but he was facing the wall on the other side of the room I guess he was avoiding looking at me. I mean , that's what he always does lately.
I decided to lay down as well.
I'd like to address something but for some reason I can't think of anything to talk about.
Maybe he was already sleeping,I knew how fast he could fall asleep.

"You still awake?" I asked , I got a small 'mhm' as a reply.
Maybe I should just try to talk to him about his behaviour but slowly.
"Uhm.. how are you" , gosh this is so awkward, I don't even know how to approach this conversation.
"..i don't know? How comes you ask so suddenly" He doesn't know how he feels? I think he does know but he doesn't want to tell me that he doesn't feel okay because he definitely doesn't look okay in any way.
"I just wondered how you feel , we haven't really talked in a while. It seemed like you avoided me , funny right?" I couldn't suppress a nervous laugh , but he didn't seem to have any reaction.
"But seriously, is everything okay?"
He nod , but he always looks so depressed? You can't tell me that this is how a human can naturally look like.

I just have to know if he's avoiding me , and if he does , then I want to know the reason because I can't remember doing or saying anything mean to him? In my eyes he looks so fragile, as if his soul were made out of glass and any negative experiences brings the soul to break in thousands pieces but the pieces wouldn't heal , they would stay broken apart and just wait for the last parts of the glass soul to break.
I know it's a weird way to describe someone's reactions to negative experiences but I just think that this describes him the best lately.

A little glass soul.

Maybe he just needs more affection? We used to have moments when we were smaller when he cried, so we just cuddled and according to his own words, he felt better afterwards.
But now it's different, we're not little kids anymore.
We're basically teenagers , Isin't that weird..
Okay screw it , it's for your best friend and no one else sees it anyways.
I slowly put a hand over Giyuu and pulled him a bit closer to me.
One of his hands were next to mine now.

From this point I have the feeling that something is wrong with me, maybe the dinner wasn't so good for me? I feel All weird , and I just grabbed his hand to hold it , I must have go crazy.
But I could see a reaction from him, that's the first time I actually get a real reaction from him.
It wasn't a big reaction, only a really quiet and quick gasp.

"Do you feel uncomfortable" I asked , maybe the gasp wasn't positive at all? Maybe he felt uncomfortable with it? I mean I could totally understand.
"No- I just didn't expect you to" His voice was very quiet but I'm glad he finally spoke a full sentence with me.
Maybe the hand holding calms him? Maybe I could try talking to him. What could go wrong? Okay , maybe that he breaks my hand out of nowhere but I think that's the last thing in the world that Giyuu would do right now.

"Giyuu I have a question" I started , he asked me "what".
At first I hesitated with my question, but I didn't want to back down now either, "is there a reason why you train by your own?" , Silents , "Makomo and I are worried about you" ,more silents.

"I apologize, I never meant to make you guys worried" The little glass soul spoke , he sounded like he would break any second but I couldn't stop now , I don't think I will have a chance like this tomorrow.
"And? I mean , why do you train alone?" He grabbed my hand with more strength, it didn't hurt tho.
"I rather not answer this one, I'm sorry-" ,"stop the nonsense apologizing" .... "Okay"...

Maybe this was harsh but I hate it when he apologizes over and over again for things that shouldn't be apologized.
I have an idea , maybe I can get some more stuff out of him like this.
"You know what , tomorrow we take a day off , you and me , we're going to hangout".
He looked over to me slightly, I gave him a small grin but at the same time I felt my chest getting very warm , but the rest of my body was still heating up with the blanket.
"Are you sure Urokodaki is fine with that idea" I nod ," I just talk to him"

And with these words , we both drifted to sleep. Actually I wanted to ask so many more questions.
Why does he ignore us? Is he okay? Did Makomo and I do something wrong ,or did I do something wrong? Maybe he talks to me tomorrow more?
Like getting his trust in talking back?
Hm , good night little glass soul.