Losing Grip | Sabigiyuu

Mental disorders

🐉 Question of the day: peach or lemon ice tea? 🐉

Makomo's POV

After I told Sabito I would look after Giyuu , I did how I promised him.

Basically I would use every chance I could have to pay attention to him, I'm not sure if Giyuu noticed me but it wouldn't matter if he'd knew.

And Sabito was right , he did have a weird behaviour, he seemed to me like he was upset or like he was emitting a large negative aura.
He was acting really weird, I just wonder what's up with that..
Sabito also said that Giyuu seemed dismissive, and Giyuu had the same behaviour against me as well.
Maybe he just needs help and doesn't dare to ask for it? I could try talking to him or doing activities with him..
I mean, right now he was training , like always.
But before I suggest him to do something with me, I'd better talk to Sabito so I don't jump to conclusions we don't want.

I left Giyuu's training place and went to see Sabito, who was also training, I admit I've been neglecting my training a lot lately..

Giyuu's POV

Why was she here?.. And why was she hiding , I mean I heard her cracking on the floor and her rustling on the leafs so of course I knew she was there but still she hid..? Hopefully she doesn't talk to me about it in the evening.

Back to Makamo's POV

*Rustle, crack, Rustle*

I could already hear him attacking the puppet he used to beat up for several days now , I wonder when the puppet fully breaks ..
"Makomo" I heard Sabito say , so he did notice me before I could even say anything.
Sabito was wearing his *fox?* Mask , how he always did when he was training.
"Hello , say are you free for a talk?"
I asked , I wouldn't be mad if he rather trained then talk but still I hoped that he stops Training.

He added one more cut to the doll and finished his training for me.
"What's wrong?" He said as he walked up to me , he leaned against a tree.
"..You were right , his behaviour is strange. But not weird ,in my opinion it's upsetting. My idea was that I talk to him and motivate him to do more activities with us or only with me if you don't have time, maybe he just got back to his social anxiety?" I told him, now that I heard myself saying that stuff I felt embarrassed.. I don't even know why , all I know it that it sounded smarter in my head..

The only thing that came from Sabito was a sigh but then he spoke up ," I don't think it's social anxiety, it just doesn't look like it. He distances himself from us in a weird way that I definitely don't like. I mean you can try your luck but I don't think it works" Sabito said , I felt hopeless.
If it's not social anxiety then what?
I can't think of any other mental disorder then social anxiety , on the other side I don't even know if it's a mental disorder.
I think I'm telling myself about the social anxiety way too much because I know how to help him if he were to relapse..
As if I'm telling myself he's relapsed just to feel like everything would be fine because I can help him.

🤚🏻🤨STOP , what's Social anxiety? Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is a long-term and overwhelming fear of social situations. It's a common problem that usually starts during the teenage years. It can be very distressing and have a big impact on your life. For some people it gets better as they get older.🥸👍🏻

"Okay well.. I'll still wait a while with the activities just because I don't even know what to propose and to prepare myself", Sabito laughed a bit ," why do you want to prepare yourself for this?"He said still under his laugh ," I want to be mentally prepared! Who knows, maybe he lets everything out and needs comfort? Or maybe he gets mad? Emotions can be unpredictable!" I said with a small proud smile. "You should approach things more like me, you don't need a plan for something like that either, just ask him if you could go for a walk with him or something cheesy" Sabito said , I could tell he was grinning trough his mask.

"Hey that's not cheesy you fish head!" I said with a laugh , I didn't often laugh loud , not because I don't have any humour, I'm just a bit embarrassed about my laugh.
"Wow now I'm a fish head , I wonder what's next , I should start a list" Sabito teased ,

I really enjoyed those moments with Sabito , those small moments, the moments filled with jokes and laughing, and not the urge to train to prove yourself to be the best.
Don't get me wrong , I take the training serious as well , but I just have my own ways to train.

I noticed how sabito's hand went to his katana again , that must meant that he wanted to continue.
"I will go talk to Giyuu now" I said , Sabito nod "Good luck".

I didn't plan on doing something today with Giyuu , I just wanted to talk to see if he would block me away or if he let me trough to him.
In addition, it was already getting halfway dark, meanwhile winter had arrived, so it got dark earlier.
A thought that came to me during the conversation with sabito, maybe he's just stressed? maybe he's scared of the selection process for being a demon slayer?
Or maybe he's just scared and doesn't even know why, and that's why he's isolating himself from everyone ?..
Whatever it is , I want to help him ,and I won't give up on him.