Lily || Beomjun

Chapter 2

                            𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧

"I... Yeonjun... No.."  He took a step behind.

I could hear the scattering and breaking sound of my heart to my ears. I stood up. I didn't say anything. I don't know what to say now. It's like my heart is cracking and it will bleed any time.

"Please... Don't get me wrong but I'm sorry Yeonjun" he immediately ran from there and due to running, all the candle lights turned into darkness.

My feet felt heavier and i knelt. It's funny what just happened, how fast it happened. I had this feeling all these years and now he just said "no" and...

And what?

Nothing...

I look at the moon. A second ago it was the most beautiful thing tonight but now, it looks the most lonely thing. Like me.

                          

The next morning i woke up in my room. I didn't even sleep after yesterday night.

Everything will change now and I'm afraid that i couldn't handle it. I don't wanna face him.

But due to that f*cking schedule, i had to. We are live on Vlive. And the task is to play games. Like my f*cking life played with me.

I'm sitting on the corner of the sofa and Beomgyu is beside me because the staff told us to. Taehyun is playing and everyone is cheering. It's so noisy.

"Play this! I like this game." Beomgyu said to Taehyun.

"I played this game before. I like this too." I said. Like nothing happened between us last night. I just want to make everything normal. I want us to be normal.

He didn't answer anything. Maybe it's so noisy that he couldn't hear me. He is not avoiding me right? I didn't make him feel gross right? Perhaps i'm thinking way too much.

Taehyun lost and all groaned. "That's not the right way to play." Beomgyu said. But later he lost too

"Let me do it." I said but he again ignored me. At first he left me there all alone and now he is avoiding me?

"You don't really care about me, do you?" I didn't realise when I said it out loud but i have no regret of doing it and it finally caught his attention.

I looked another way and he faked a smile for the camera. We were that close that i knew when he was faking the smile. I knew everything about him.

Everything is messed up now. He is avoiding me. And WHY THE F*UCK HE IS PLAYING WITH TAEHYUN?!

I feel my heavy breath and i suddenly feel nausea and urge to throw up. I suddenly got up from there and went to the bathroom.

It's blood.

Oh yeah i didn't eat anything from night. I should eat something. I hear a knock at the bathroom. I immediately flush the blood.

"You okay Yeonjun?" It's Kai. I can feel the concern in his voice.

"Yeah! Everything is okay. I just need some time." I said and be there for some minutes staring at the blank.

I opened the door and saw everyone. They asked me what happened. "It's nothing! I just ate so much that i couldn't even digest." I faked a laugh and then everyone laughed. I look at Beomgyu. He was not laughing and concern was all over his face.

I didn't bother to look a second more even if i wanted to lost in his eyes forever.

I got in my room right after that and the nausea still hasn't gone. And i threw up in the bathroom. And i couldn't believe my eyes.What did i see just now. It's not just blood.

I'm throwing up flower petals.

They are beautiful but deadly white, covered in blood shot red. Am i seeing this correctly? Or have i gone mad?

It's been a month, and i never came out of my room. Everyone said I'm acting weird and rude. how can i blame them? They are right. It is weird. I am weird.

Idk what's happening with me but in a month, these petals are grown into a flower. They almost rip off my throat when they come out.

I cough plenty of blood just after throwing a flower. How can this be possible? These are only in stories - coughing blood, throwing flowers. How?

This is stupid. But i can't stop it. I don't want to. I'd rather accept my painful and lonely death than not loving him. It's the only thing is giving me hope to live.

And it's the only thing that is killing me too.

I wander what is he doing right now. But i can't let him and others see me like this. I don't want them to...

Ahh it's pathetic.

Everything is like Lilies. The flower that is coming from my lungs and my love for him.

Incredible yet killing.

To be continued...✿