Troubled Love

Troubled Love: Chapter 16

~Raven~

*Two months later*

I was in the car with Darious. Ever since Cairo escaped, he doesn't like me being alone at all. Considering the fact that Cairo almost raped and killed me, I understand completely why. We were on our way to rehearsal for Trevor's concert next week. I was going to drive myself there after dance practice but Darious showed up at my house and insisted on him taking me. I had my phone hooked up to the aux cord and I was blasting J. Cole as he drove.

"You wanna go to the mall later or something?" Dee asked me. I was leaning on the door as I looked out the window. I was letting the wind blow through my hair as the good vibes ran through my body.

"Yeah, sure. I need more shirts anyway." I replied. I could feel Dee staring a hole in the side of my face. I lifted my head up and turned to him. "What?"

"Are you okay? Is something wrong?" he asked looking at me with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a little tired from practice I guess." I said as I moved my hair out of my face so I  could see him clearly. He gave me a serious look as he turned the music down.

"Raven. Really? I know when somethings wrong. Now, how are you really feeling. Are you on your period or..." he said, folding his lips in. I smiled a little.

"No, its not my period." I laughed. "I've just had a lot of stuff on my mind lately, ya know?"

"Okay, im all open. Spill." He said as he kept his eyes on the road. I sighed. I hated talking about feelings. I've never been good at expressing them. Whenever I needed to let something out I would write a song about it or something. I especially hated talking to Darious about my feelings. I didn't wanna be like one of those girlfriends who are cry babies and are always whining to their boyfriend about something.

"I just miss my Dad... the one who was there for me when I needed him... the one who made me feel safe." I said. I just stared forward. I normally couldn't talk about my Dad to Darious. He had his father his entire life. His parents just weren't together. He couldn't find ways to relate to me and it made him feel guilty and uncomfortable so we just never talked about it.

"Go ahead." Darious said. My eyes widened. I looked at him and he glanced over at me.

"Really?" 

"Yeah, really. I want to know how you're feeling and what I could do to help. I don't like seeing my baby unhappy."

I took a breath and then I just let all my feelings out.

"Lately, i've been thinking and for some reason I'm just now realizing all the stuff hes missed. You know, graduation, prom, school concerts, stuff like that. It sucks cause everyone can say that they did all these different things with their Dad and I can't even recall the last time he bought me something that I wanted. Then, I thought even more. Like, what if you weren't there to save me when Cairo-"

"Raven, I was there."

"But what if you weren't, Darious?" I said. "Huh?"

"Baby, you can't think like that."

I shook my head. "I feel like at this age, he should be here to support me in every choice I make. I feel like when I'm in trouble, he should be the first one I call on but hes not, and it hurts Dee. It really does." I said as tears started to drop. I put my forearm over my eyes and began to cry.

"Nooo, baby, don't cry." Darious said as he rubbed my thigh. "Everything is gonna be okay. Your father is trying, and I can tell, trust me. He wants to be there for you but hes just scared. The man hasn't acted like a father in a good amount of years now, you really think everything is gonna go back to normal? He has to adjust to you and your brother. His kids aren't the same person they were seven years ago. You guys aren't gonna like american girl dolls and tech decks forever. You have different desires and interests. You don't look the same, you don't talk the same, and you definitely don't act the same. To him, it may seem like you guys are nearly strangers. He just has to get to know you more, Babe. God has a plan for everything. It'll get better. Remember, after every storm, theres a rainbow." Darious said with a gentle smile. I wiped my tears and looked at him.