You and me

Part 20

Y/N POV 

I wake up and try to get up but then I feel some sort of weight on me. I look down and see Lizzie laying on top of me like a little koala. All the memories of the night before start to flood my mind. This always happen to me when something good is happening. I panic and destroy everything. I really love how Lizzie handled it yesterday, she didn't judge me. All that she did was be there for me and calm me down. No one has ever brought me out my spiral in such short time, not even Aubrey. I look at how peaceful Lizzie is sleeping and I can't contain my smile. She brings this light in my life that nobody has ever brought. She gives me this peaceful feeling that I have never felt in my entire life. It feels like Elizabeth Chase Olsen is my happiness and it scares me a little because we don't know each other that long. I would be pretty scared if it wasn't for last night. She gave me the answers that I needed. Even if I asked for them in the most ridicules way ever. 

It felt like I was in high school all over again. I didn't have parents for the most of my teen years so whenever I needed attention I asked for it in the wrong way. Every year I had this one specific teacher that felt right to tell my story but I didn't know how to ask for a talk so I just misbehaved until she asked me if everything was alright. Even then I didn't tell her everything but it just felt good to know that I had someone I could talk to. If I think back to that time, you can see that I had serious mommy issues. I always wanted the attention of an older woman. I laugh at myself and see Lizzie waking up. Shit did I wake her? 

"Good morning." She said with her raspy morning voice. I think that I am going to die on the spot. She is so freaking cute with her morning hair and shit. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?" I ask and she hums as confirmation. After this she just snuggles deeper into my neck and I am going to faint right now. I need to break this off because she is going to give me a heart attack one of this days. No I am just kidding, if I have a heart attack she can give me mouth to mouth to get me back to life so that's a win win for me. Enough thinking about my possible death, I need to apologize for my behavior yesterday. "I'm sorry." This is all that I can get out of my mouth. I have never been good at apologies. Lizzie sits up and looks at me. "You don't have to be sorry. I get why you did what you did yesterday. Maybe it isn't the best thing to get drunk when you want answers but now you know that you can just talk to me." Maybe I should tell her about my drinking problem. Or is that too soon? Well she just said that I could talk to her whenever I want so I think that it is time to tell her. "I want to tell you something but it is really hard for me to do." Well, being honest is doing me good. "Do it at your own time. You don't have to tell me today. Tell me when you are ready." Okay, I need to think a little about what I am going to tell her but I will definitely tell her today. "I will get ready and then maybe we can talk over coffee because I am not awake enough for this." 

I am the first one to get out of bed after a lot of resistance from a very tired Lizzie. I let her lay there some longer because it was also a rough night for her. I get in the bathroom and quickly get myself dresses. I brush my teeth and clean my face with some water. I look rough but I expected worse. I just have these big bags under my eyes but that's not unusual. Since the accident with my parents I have had a lot of trouble sleeping so these bags under my eyes have always been there. I take one last check in the mirror to see if I look decent and honestly, I don't look that bad if I say myself. I am just wearing something simple. I have my nike joggers on and my nike sweater. As I said before, I am obsessed with nike. But yeah, I feel like shit so I don't want to dress nice and all. I get out of the bathroom and see Lizzie still laying in bed. I get back in bed and start tickling her. "Stop! Please stop! I give up!" I can't contain my laughter but I stop tickling Lizzie. She turns around and I am now currently sitting on top of her. I lean in and give her a soft kiss, these are the moments that I would never want to leave. She makes my heart explode with happiness.