Marina One shots :)

I just need you

Weeks. It had been weeks since Carina had felt the closeness of her wife against her skin. Since Maya had felt supported and cared for. Since they both felt like they were even together. They both recognised Mayas self destructive path. Everybody thinks that Maya is so deep in it and can't even recognise what she is doing wrong but that isn't true. Part of her pain is seeing what she is doing to her Wife and to herself,and the fact that she knows exactly what to do differently and how to help herself but there is just something inside stopping her. That something inside her in slowly killing her.

At first it was pure rage within the blonde that she couldn't express effectively but the longer it stayed inside of her the longer she felt it couldn't come out and the longer it ate away at her. Now the damage has been done, Maya doesn't feel as though she can fix it so, she distances her self from her coworkers, from her Wife, from herself. It isn't healthy, she knows that, the right thing to do is find a therapist, find healthy methods to express difficult emotions, find time to be Mrs Deluca-Bishop instead of Lieutenant Bishop, she knew all this, but it was easier said than done.

It had been a unusually busy clinic day at the station, Maya of course trying her best to avoid it so she wouldn't run into Carina so she mainly stayed in the gym, wishing she wasn't so pathetic and could just go and speak to her Wife. Whereas Carina was working as much as she could so she wouldn't break down and cry in front of patients. The clinic was about to close and Carina was just dealing with her last patient.

"Okay so I will just grab this little form you need to fill in, it's nothing serious just-" she stopped when she saw her phone ringing on the table next to her and checked it in case it was an emergency, the contact name was for her to know she needed to excuse herself. "I'm very sorry I need to take this, Firefighter Montgomery here will finish with your forms" she told the patient and Travis at the same time as he nodded and made his way to the patient.

She made her way to the downstairs locker room as it was rarely occupied and answered her phone. "Ciao papà?" she answered very confused as he hadn't called her in over a year. "Hello is this Doctor Carina Deluca?" an unknown voice spoke through the phone. "Yes that's me, what can I do for you?" she began to worry as she spoke. "I'm sorry to inform you of this Doctor but your father Vincenzo Deluca passed away in the early hours of this morning, he was involved in a car crash and suffered a critical brain bleed that we couldn't control."

Her whole world stood still, she hadn't spoken to him in over a year, he was a dick when raising her, he was unaccepting of her work as an OB/GYN, he didn't care to contact her when her brother died, he did return her message when she told him about her marriage, he didn't seem to care when she moved away from him, she owed him nothing, no tears, no grief. All this but he was still her papà.

She finished the phone call and clutched her phone at her chest. Tears uncontrollably started to stream down her cheeks. Her legs began to tremble. She heard the door to the locker room open but didn't move a muscle.

"Hey Carina, your patient signed the form and," he paused when he saw the brunette. "Hey what's going on?" He asked sympathetically. Carina felt she had no control over her voice when she blurted out to Travis about her Fathers death. He consoled her the best he could and she decided she had to go home. "I'm sorry I can't stay to help clean up from the clinic but I'm just going to go and get changed and then head home" she told the firefighter.

"Yeah, of course Carina and again I'm so sorry about your loss" he put his hand on her shoulder. "Thank you Travis."
Carina left to go upstairs and change and Travis left the locker room behind her. He saw Maya enter the barn and he decided this isn't something he can let Carina go through alone. "Hey Bishop" he called her over. "Yeah Montgomery what is it".

"I need to talk to you about Carina" he explained and she immediately got defensive. "My marriage does not concern you or anyone in this firehouse is that clear?" She asked with a very serious expression. "Woah Maya, I'm not attacking your marriage I'm here to tell you need to get you act together or you are going to lose her, Maya this isn't my news to tell you at all but I have to" he said "keep talking Montgomery"

"Maya, Carinas just found out her dad died, and she isn't coping well at all she needs someone and that someone needs to be her caring loving wife that she misses so much." At that moment Maya froze, she needed to be there she needed to get her head out of her ass and be there for her wife in the most vulnerable and emotional way she could be. All the time she had hoped that something that would trigger her to just switched back to how she used to be but always knew that was unrealistic but she would have to put in the work. Of course she would never wish death upon someone but this may just do it.

"Where is she" Maya didn't ask, she demanded. "Upstairs getting changed" he said, and with that she rain upstairs. She ran through the hall into the lounge and in the door to the locker room and there she made a dramatic halt to her run which gained the attention of her wife as she turned her head and Maya saw the tear stains on Carinas cheeks. They both stood in silence whilst they stared at each other. Carinas eyes began to fill with more tears and Maya jumped forward to hold her wife as tight as she could.

"I need you Bambina" she got out between sniffles and tears. "I know My love, I'm here I promise" and they both began to cry. "He died..papà, he just died" carina tried to explain and Maya just stroked the back of the brunettes head, kissed her forehead before pulling her back in for a hug. "I know baby don't worry I'm here" she continued to rub her hand up and down the doctors back in attempt to slow down her breathing. "Just breath".

"Come here" Maya said and lead Carina to one of the bunks in the locker room. "Bambina don't leave me again.. please Maya" she didn't ask a lot of Maya but this she really needed. They both sat on the bed and shut the door. Maya rested her hand in Carinas leg and looked into her eyes. "Listen to me Carina, I'm not leaving, I'm done leaving. I'll get a therapist I'll stop working so much, whatever I need to do and just know what I need the most is it be here for my wife and not shut her out. I'm sorry it took your dad dying for me to realise this, it shouldn't have" she said.

"You haven't called me baby in months" carina told her wife "hm?" She asked "a few minutes ago you called me baby" she explained. "Oh and you want me to do that more hm baby?" She teased as she sat back in the bed and opened her arms for Carina. "Maybe I do" she said as she moved towards Maya and lay on top of her and hugged her whole body.

"I'm still mad at you" carina announced into the silence. "I know, you should be"

"I am, but I just need you right now"

"That's exactly what I'm here for my love, I'm sorry I haven't been recently"

~~~~

A/N

Imagine if they ever make up.

Just a short one, hope everyone is enjoying the holidays.