"And she looked at me, and I, I could see, that before too long I'd fall in love with her.."
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Lennon hates being the center of attraction. Simula ng marehistro siya sa munisipyo, at nang pumasok siya sa eskwela, tuwing babanggitin ang pangalan niya, laging may kasunod na tanong o tingin mula sa guro o kaklase niya. Well, it started in high school. Pero mas malala ng mag kolehiyo siya. Mostly by the professors, dahil kilalang kilala nila kung kanino isinunod ang pangalan niya.
"Dominguez, Lennon?"
Itinaas niya ng bahagya ang kaliwang kamay bilang pagtugon. Nasa kahulihan na row siya ng upuan. Hindi naman siya late, pero mas gusto niya sa pwesto na iyon. Plus, he's a transferee. And he's surrounded with mostly, students from this city o kaya naman ay sa kalapit na syudad o probinsya. Hindi naman ito ang unang beses niya na makarating ng Maynila, but he still have to adjust. Medyo nahirapan nga siyang makatulog kagabi dahil alas diyes na ng gabi, marami pa rin siyang naririnig na tunog ng sasakyan mula sa labas, lalo na ng magsimulang mag videoke sa may kabilang apartment building kung sa'n siya tumutuloy. Nasanay siya na maagang matulog sa Baguio. Doon kasi sa lugar nila, halos lahat maagang matulog. By ten in the evening, mahimbing na ang halos lahat sa pagtulog.
Hindi niya nga alam kung pa'no niya pa bang magagawang makapag-aral ng ganoon. Kung hindi kasi ang maingay na kapitbahay, 'yung mga taga kabilang unit naman ang maingay.
The professor in front of the class smiled upon reading his name on the index card he's flipping.
Tumingin ang professor sa kanya. Alam na niya iyon. Kapag unang beses marinig ng guro ang pangalan niya, laging may interval bago ang kasunod. Laging pinupuna ang pangalan niya.
"I take it was derived from John Lennon himself?" The professor seems to be on his early forties. Naka-asul itong polo at maong jeans.
Tumango si Lennon sa guro, "Yes, sir."
Nakatingin na sa kanya ang mga kasama niya sa loob ng silid. Okay, I was named after one of the greatest artists and songwriters in the history. That happens. Other people were named after a biblical character, or after a famous fictional character. That happens all the time. Let's now move on.
The professor was leaning the half of his body at the table on his back.
"That's interesting. I supposed, paborito ng magulang mo ang The Beatles."
"Yes, sir." More eyes.
"The was a very unique name. I like it," He said. Kaya ito talaga ang ayaw niya. Alam niyang maliit na bagay lang naman ito at hindi na niya kailangan pang gawing big deal.
Nakahinga siya ng maluwag ng magtawag na ng iba ang professor sa unahan.
If not for his mother, he wouldn't do it. Ilang taon na ba ang nakalipas? It was days before their High school graduation. He can still picture that day. He can still picture that day, which he thinks is the most painful day of his life.
He was sixteen at that time. That was three years ago. He tried to move on with his life. He entered college at Saint Louis University. He spent almost three years of his college life in there. Sinubukan niyang maging preoccupied with his studies. He was a consistent Dean's lister. Kapag maaga ang uwi niya, he'd rather spend his time at the library. Mas okay. He surrounded himself with books. Kapag nagbabasa kasi siya, parang dinadala siya ng mga ito sa ibang lugar, at marami siyang nakikilalang ibang karakter. Wala siya sa storya, he didn't exist in those books, and that's a good thing. Hindi siya masasaktan. His life wouldn't be that complicated if he didn't existed. Sana nga gano'n na lang. If not for his Mama he would've left the place since day one after that incident. But there's a piece of his heart left in Baguio, dahil nando'n ang Mama niya. But after two years of college, isang umaga ay kinausap siya nito. Telling him, she already paid for an apartment somewhere in Manila. Malapit sa unibersidad kung saan siya lilipat.
Ayaw niyang pumayag noong una. Hindi niya pwedeng iwanan ang Mama niya. Silang dalawa na lang ang magkasama. And she's not getting any younger. Pero alam niya ring gagawin niya ang lahat para sa Mama niya. Kaya pumayag siya. Marahil tama ito, maybe after all, he needs this space. Dahil habang naroon siya, habang nakikita niya ang bawat puno, bawat bahay, bawat park, bawat kalsada ng lugar na iyon, hindi siya makakawala mula sa nangyari mahigit tatlong taon na ang nakakaraan.
"Mr. Dominguez?"
A strong voice snapped him back to reality. Nakatingin sa kanya ang professor niya na nasa gitna na ngayon ng lecture hall. Nakalingon sa kanya halos lahat ng kaklase niya. Umayos siya ng upo.
The professor crossed his arms to his chest. He looked sharp despite his semi-casual attire.
"How can you describe the word, music?"
Hindi siya agad sumagot. Hindi lahat ng kasamahan niya sa silid na ito ay kapareho niya ng kurso. It makes them his blockmates. From a literature course back in Baguio, he shifted to a music degree.
Suddenly, Lennon was reminded of his childhood. The Sunday mornings they used to spend at Church. Tuwing sasalubungin siya ng tugtog ng piano and everyone singing a hymn of praise. He started seeing her again. On her beautiful sunday dress. Her long and shiny hair. Her lips as it moves accordingly to the song.
He knew that he had to worship God, he may be a sinner for appreciating no one else in the room but her. Siguro iyon ang dahilan kung bakit pinarusahan siya ng Diyos, eventually. Maybe, it's God's way of teaching him some lessons. Na magpasa hanggang ngayon ay hindi niya. Pa rin maunawaan.
He looked at his hands on the table of his armchair. It took him almost a minute before answering. He remembered her saying it to him, isang araw nang nasa loob sila ng sunday school room nila. She's having her piano lessons, while Lennon had his lessons in guitar. He took it by heart. He can still picture her saying those words. He can still picture her standing under the tree waiting for him after their high school graduation. Can still picture her as she walks away that exact day and started to vanished in the horizon.
He tilted his head, echoing her words years ago.
"Music is well said to be the speech."
