racing hearts - a Fabio Quartararo fanfiction [🇬🇧]

chapter 18

[Matilda - Harry Styles]

So I started to explain: "Well, as I said before, I was born in Salzburg. I lived there until I was five. Then my mum died. She was ill, but the death still came suddenly. I have it processed quite well now, but of course a world collapsed for me back then. Unfortunately, I can't remember the time well, but she was a kind-hearted person. I'm sure she would have loved you.
Well, after her death my dad and I moved to Spielberg. We've both always been fascinated by motorsport, so there was no question that I would start karting. We moved closer to the racetrack, which only fueled my passion.
My dad had a dream when he was a kid. He wanted to be in Formula 1. However, he was never able to make it. But his dream rubbed off on me. After some time karting, I also had a firm plan for the future. I wanted to be in Formula 1.
The father and the daughter both had a dream. And that made us a real dream duo.
Eventually, as I got older, I got into the formula series. We were one step closer. Everything seemed perfect.
However, as soon as I got into Formula 3, everything changed.
I had to make a decision. I had to choose an academy.
Which kinda meant that I'll choose my future, if I make it into Formula 1. There were two options. Either Ferrari or Redbull Racing.
For me it was clear. I wanted to go to Redbull. It was an Austrian team. Also my favorite team.
However, my father had a different opinion. He wanted to see me at Ferrari. He told me that you could only become the next big talent when you drive for Ferrari. I should get Redbull out of my head. It would be my downfall, he said.
Any other person would probably have listened to their father. However, I didn't. I was pretty stubborn.
I wanted to go to Redbull. My thoughts did not wander to Ferrari for a single second.
From then on there was a tension between me and my father. The tension was pretty frightening for me at the time, because there had never been anything like it.
And suddenly somehow everything was different.
Then, one evening, we got into a fight
. I only know that it was loud. Very loud. And that was the last time I saw him. "
Fabio seemed to follow me, but something changed in his gaze when I said the last sentence.
"So you mean that after this argument you two never met again? He just left you in the middle of your Formula 3 career, just because you didn't want to go to Ferrari?"
He was shocked. On the one hand from the story, on the other hand from the fact that I told the whole thing as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
I was able to explain the whole thing pretty well after such a long time, but I still didn't like the topic.
I nodded, "Yes, there was silence after that argument. Others would have quit, but I didn't want to let my career go unfinished. Like I said, I was pretty stubborn and wanted to go to Redbull, even though the other choice probably would've saved the relationship between me and my father.
Well, but my grandparents still supported me. So my mom's parents. They told me they would always support me and that my mother was proud of me even though I stood up to my father.
My dad and I didn't talk anymore, but  I still directed all my victories at least a little bit towards him. After all, it was his dream somewhere.
I miss him and I'd probably forgive him if he stands in front of my door tomorrow, even though his words are still floating around in my mind. "
"His words?"
"You're not my daughter," I replied, quoting what my father had said during the argument at the time.
"You're not serious, are you?" Fabio asked and now sat up slightly. I nodded.
Yes. I'm dead serious.
"You deserve so much more. Nika, someone who really loves you would never say such a thing," said Fabio, suddenly pulling me into a hug, which I returned directly.
I was now able to talk about the topic quite well, but it still triggered something in me again and again. And then, a warm hug from Fabio was just the thing to calm me down.
When I looked at him shortly after, I could see his brain was rattling around.
"You can ask me questions," I said, and as if he was just waiting for my confirmation, he asked directly, "I know you don't talk anymore, but does your father still watch your races?"
I thought about how to formulate my answer.
"Well... I have no idea, of course, but if I'm honest, I hope so. Just that he sees that I've made it. And that our dream has come true."
"You know what I admire you for?"
"For what?"
"That despite everything that happened with your family, you made it and didn't give up. I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must have been and yet you kept going."
He smiled proudly at me, which increased my heart rate a bit.
"Thank you, but I have to say, without Mick and Daniel I wouldn't have gotten through it so well," I replied, "I've known Mick since I was little. He really helped me a lot. And his family especially, even if they didn't always have it easy either. Nevertheless, after my dad left, they invited me to Christmas and so on.
And I met Daniel when I got into Formula 1. We got along right away and at some point I entrusted the story to him. Since then, he has kind of automatically taken on a kind of father role. By the way, only the two of them know this story and now you too."
"Thank you for confiding in me," said Fabio.
"Thanks for being able to trust you," I replied.
"Do your grandparents still live?"
"No, unfortunately not. They died shortly after I got into Formula 1. But they still saw my first victory. That meant a lot to me. Of course I had a strong bond with both of them because, as I said, I always spent my summer in France with them. We still went to France every summer after my Mom died. On the one hand because we have family there, on the other hand because we always felt connected to her as soon as we came to the country."
I looked at Fabio and analyzed him briefly because I just remembered something.
"I fulfilled her wish too," I said absently.
"What wish was it?"
"She always told me I should bring a French boy home when I'm older, because apparently they're the best ones," I said and a smile slowly formed on my lips. So also on Fabios.
"Well, you definitely made the right decision to follow her wish," he laughed and gave me a kiss on the forehead. Suddenly his voice softened, "I'll never leave you, okay? I'm here for you."
We looked deep into each other's eyes. And I knew it. You could literally read it in his eyes.
He meant every single word exactly as he said it.