racing hearts - a Fabio Quartararo fanfiction [🇬🇧]

chapter 24

[Something in the orange - Zach Bryan]

*two weeks later*

I stood in front of the large window of the apartment I had booked.
Two weeks had now passed. Two weeks ago I drove here unplanned to clear my head. That between Fabio and I had been over for two weeks now and it still didn't feel like that long.
However, I had a lot of time to think during this period of time, which was good for me in my case.
Sure, sometimes thoughts could almost kill you. But I managed to think in the right way, so that my thoughts did not harm me.
Of course, I haven't completely repressed the relationship yet. That wasn't even possible in such a short time. But I've already processed it a bit. Not everything yet, but at least a bit.
It was the right decision to go back to Austria. To be more precise, in my hometown. This was really the best place to clear my head and the area had a very calming effect on me. I just love it here and even though I currently live in Monaco, it's still my home.

As I said, I've been thinking a lot about this last phone call from Fabio and me. But I quickly realized that it was okay to be sad about it, but that I shouldn't let it destroy me and the tears should stop soon, which they did. Sure, I was sad that it was over, but what's the use of mourning someone when it was already too late?
I should start seeing the positive things.
This train of thought helped me a lot and I managed to look ahead again.
And maybe someday I'll be able to think about him in a positive way again.
However, there was something I hated that somehow gave me a sense of hope.
Every time I looked up at the bright orange sky at sunset, something told me we're not done.
And I tried everything to ignore this feeling, but it just wouldn't work, so after a few days I stopped watching the sun disappear behind the mountains.

I just put on my Converse and a thin jacket because, despite August, it was pretty cold outside. It had rained earlier.
I was just getting ready for a walk, because that has probably been my favorite activity for the past few weeks.
Most of the time I walked along a path that led through a meadow, but sometimes it was also the forest path that led past a small river.
But today I wanted to go somewhere else. Through the village.
Sometimes it felt good to visit places of childhood. I was pretty sure that nostalgia will grab me today, but somehow I felt like it.
I only lived here until I was five, but this place was still part of my childhood.
I quickly jogged down the stairs of the stairwell and the fresh air enveloped my body. So I set off.

It was really beautiful to see the area again and to float in childhood memories. I felt like five again and I just loved that feeling even if it hurt somewhere because I knew that time was over and there was no going back.
Nostalgia was the most beautiful but also the most painful feeling ever.

I turned into an alley. Just a few more meters and I would be standing in front of the house I lived in before I moved to Spielberg. Somehow, subconsciously, I decided to walk past the house again where I spent part of my life. I couldn't remember it too well, but I kept getting a few little memories from the times I lived here. I just wanted to see it even though I didn't know why.
The alley got bigger and bigger and again houses closed around me as I left the alley. The big light blue house caught my eye. There it was.
My heart jumped and I quickly covered the steps to finally stand in front of it.
I saw the large garden while still having the narrow stone path leading to the entrance.
I stood in front of it for a few seconds and I didn't know what grabbed me, but I stepped onto the ground of the building.
Something told me to ring the bell. I wanted to see the inside of this house.

At that time we sold the house to a very nice couple who were good friends with my mother at the time. Maybe they still live here and I should take a look, even if the rooms will probably look different than in my days.

I finally rang the bell and waited. But not for too long, because shortly afterwards the door opened.
But it wasn't the couple who opened the door for me.
Even though I haven't seen those eyes for 6 years, I knew straight away who they belonged to.
"Dad?" I asked in shock. That couldn't be possible.
"Annika..."
I don't know how long we stood there looking at each other, but then something happened. As if we had agreed, we almost fell into each other's arms.
After six years, I was finally back in my father's arms.
And it felt... good.
I know his words may have been very harsh, but if I said I never missed him once, it would be nothing but a big lie.
"I'm so damn sorry, Annika," he said quietly, taking my face in his hands.
"So I'm still your daughter?" I asked.
"Oh of course you are," he replied and I could see tears in his eyes, "My words were an absolute foolishness. Not a day went by that I didn't regret them."
"Then why didn't you ever apologize or get in touch?" I inquired, a tremor heard in my voice.
"I was afraid that you would reject me and want nothing more to do with me. Besides, you know..."
"The Hinz-Stubborn?" I asked, laughing through tears. He nodded.
Yes, my father and I could be very stubborn. Sometimes that really got in our way, but it never had such proportions as in this one argument.
"Annika, what are you actually doing around here?" my dad asked.
"I'm here during the summer break. It's been two weeks. To be honest, I didn't expect to meet you here."
My father gave me a quick look.

Believe me, I haven't forgotten his words, but it was so damn good to see and talk to him again. He looked me in the eyes briefly and finally spoke, "Do you want to come in and well... talk?"
"Yes, I think there is still a lot to clarify...", I talked weakly, still slightly overwhelmed by the situation.
My father smiled at me gratefully and told me to come into the house so we could discuss it in private. I just had to clear this up with him now. I couldn't cut this person out of my life. No longer.
If not now, when?
Fate brought us together right now for a reason.

I could read him like an open book. It was very difficult to know what he's thinking, but I made it.
I could tell he really regretted what he said back then.
People could call me crazy, but I didn't care.
Sure, you could hate someone for saying you're not my daughter anymore. I might as well did that for a short amount of time after the argument. But not anymore.
Because I just couldn't hate my father. And secretly, I've always wished that one day it would be like it used to be. Maybe now is the chance.

The house looked quite different than it did back then, but I was still nostalgic. Even when my father put a hot chocolate on the table for me, which tasted just like it did back then.
He sat down across from me.
"So," he started the conversation, "I want to apologize for my words and for the years that I left you alone. I know that sorry could never make up for it, but I truly regret my actions. I was absolutely selfish at the time. Just because I wanted to see you with another team, there was this years of silence. Annika, you will always be my daughter, no matter where you drive or what you do. I know I can't excuse the words from back then, but I'd like us to do a reboot or something like that. What do you think of that?"
I briefly thought about how to formulate my answer when I started, "Yes, you are right, these words are not simply forgotten with a sorry. I was angry at you, but never so much that I never again wanted to talk to you. I did, but I was also quite stubborn. I didn't want to apologize first. Grandma and Grandpa also told me that it's within my rights to think like that."
"It definitely is," my dad replied, "I've completely misbehaved and it's only fair that I make the first move. I know you can't forget that from one day to the next and stuff like that act like nothing happened, but I'd like to start a new section. With you."
I nodded, "Me too. But thanks for realizing what you did wrong."
"You shouldn't have to be thankful for that," he answered.
There was a moment of silence between us when I finally asked, "Have you watched my races?"
I was a bit afraid of the answer, but he gave me a warm smile.
"Every single one."
I also got a smile on my face.

I went to Austria for a completely different reason but I'm still glad that this had happened.
I never expected my dad to open the door for me, but I couldn't be happier that he bought the house back two years ago, which he told me.
Even on the way back to my apartment, the smile still couldn't completely disappear.