chapter 11

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[Summertime sadness - Lana del Ray]

The rest of the days just flew by. Fabio and I still did a lot of things, but the day came and I had to go back to Monaco.
It was currently Monday, which meant that I had already stayed a day longer than planned. However, we also planned for Fabio to fly with me to Monaco, stay there until Tuesday and then we would fly to our racetracks on Wednesday. We came up with this idea because Fabio's race, which was in France, was farther from Italy than Monaco.
The plan got canceled when I found out that my team wanted me in Bahrain on Tuesday because they want to talk to me, which meant that I'll have to take my flight tomorrow. So no time for a visit from Fabio.

"Have you got everything?" I heard him, who was waiting downstairs.
"Yes," I spoke back and carried my suitcase down the stairs.
Fabio immediately came to me and took the suitcase.
"As I said, I can also carry the suitcase myself."
"No, you better get used to the fact that I take things off your hands, because I'm a gentleman."
I chuckled to myself, "If you're a gentleman, I'm sure you'll tell me where Jules is so I can say goodbye, right?"
Fabio laughed too and told me that she was in the living room.
I walked over quickly and saw her sleeping on the couch.
I squatted down in front of her and stroked her gently. After I said goodbye, I went back to Fabio, who was just picking up his car keys from the kitchen table as he was about to take me to the airport.
"Oh, I'll miss her," I said.
"But not me or what?" Fabio asked.
"Of course, I'll miss you even more."
Satisfied with the answer, he grinned at me and we headed towards the garage to his car and stowed my luggage in the trunk of the car.
The ride was relatively quiet and I looked out at the area. The sun was about to set, but the last strong golden sunlight shone through the window pane and warmed my skin.
We didn't exchange words, but we spoke differently to each other. With our body language.
A few minutes after we started driving, Fabio just took my hand and has been holding it for the entire ride. I returned the pressure and held his as well.
And I'll be honest: After that week, the hand-holding didn't surprise me anymore either, because the hints just kept getting bigger.
I also spent the remaining nights in Fabio's bed. And instead of his cuddles stopped when we went to bed, they became more and more normal and natural.
This did not only happened when we went to bed. Also when we were watching Netflix in the evening, we didn’t exactly keep our distance.
There had been so many rapprochements that we were both quite aware of our feelings and each other's feelings and yet no one really said it out loud.
I held Fabio's hand and tried to absorb all the good energy that he exudes again when I noticed how the car slowed down.
"So, here we are," Fabio said softly and our hands parted.
"Thanks again... for everything," it suddenly came out of me, because I was really grateful for this week.
Fabio gave me a warm smile.
"No problem, you can always come visit me. By the way, did I keep my promise?"
I looked at him confused for a moment as I realized what he was talking about.
I promise you'll feel better afterwards...
I replied, "Yes, you did! You also took away my fear of tomorrow because of the meeting with my team."
"Call me right after and tell me how it was, okay?" Fabio insisted, to which I nodded in agreement.
We sat side by side in silence again. I think we both wanted to speak about the whole thing that's been going on for the week, but we weren't quite sure where to start.
Suddenly he grabbed my hand again.
"Nika, I..." Fabio began and our eyes met. He wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. I only saw how his gaze slowly deviated to my lips and shortly afterwards met my eyes again.
Oh fuck it...
I took his cheek with my free hand and pulled him to me so that our lips were connected.
And now something exploded inside me. I was just overwhelmed by the feelings. It felt like a whole swarm of butterflies just got released in my stomach.
It was the feeling I'd been longing for since the party night, even if I didn't realize I wanted this feeling until now.
Shortly thereafter we broke up again and looked at each other briefly. But there wasn't much time, because Fabio kissed me again straight away. And the second fireworks exploded...
I wish this moment would've last forever, but even now we had to part and just looked at each other.
"Wow...", Fabio breathed softly. I got flushed cheeks and a smirk on my lips.
We were silent, with our thoughts still lost in the moment that took place earlier.
"It's seventeen minutes to six and you..." I heard on the radio as I snapped out of my thoughts.
"Oh shit... I have to go," I said frantically, unbuckling my seat belt. Now I really had to hurry, even if I would have preferred to stay in the car with Fabio.
I took my suitcase, we quickly said goodbye and I entered the airport.
And the whole way home from Italy to Monaco I just couldn't get that smile off my lips.
Neither when I entered Mick's car, who came to pick me up.
"Hey, how was it?" he asked.
"It was quite good," I replied, very understated and absent-minded, not quite being able to get my thoughts out of the kiss earlier.
"Why are you grinning- Anni, wait a minute... are you two...?" Mick asked and widened his eyes.
Even though neither Fabio nor I said it out loud, it was pretty clear to both of us that we were more than just friends from now on and sort of confessed our feelings in only one week.
So I nodded, "Yes, I would say so..."
Mick grinned happily, "I told you so."

And the next day my mood only got better.
The conversation on Tuesday was indeed positive.
My team told me that they noticed I was quite unsettled in the last race and it rubbed off on my results. They assured me that they want to help me regain my trust and the possibility of not getting a contract extension isn't big. They also reassured me that they had my back.
This conversation actually strengthened me and we immediately started working on new strategies for the upcoming races.
On Wednesday, Max also joined us, who also contributed to perfecting everything again for the upcoming race.
And with this newly won self-confidence, I got into the race car on Sunday.
And on that day there were two winners.
Not only Fabio won his home Grand Prix. I also managed to get first place and achieved a double victory for Redbull Racing with Max.
Now I could finally say it again: I'm back and now we're racing!

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