racing hearts - a Fabio Quartararo fanfiction [🇬🇧]

chapter 25

[Naked - James Arthur]

I was just putting my phone down when I finished talking to Mick who called daily to see how I was doing. I also often spoke to Daniel on the phone. Most of the time the three of us were on one call anyway, but just now I was only on the phone with Mick alone.
I was very glad that he called every day because it was something to look forward to every day.
Talking to Mick always calmed me down. We've been friends forever and over time he found out very quickly how to calm me down when I was restless. We know each other better than anyone. Almost like twins. That's actually what Daniel sometimes called us.

I had to leave tomorrow and go back to Monaco as the racing season started again. But most of all I was definitely happy to see Daniel and Mick again. Even though we talked on the phone every day, I did miss them a bit.

But I also really enjoyed the days in Austria
Things are going very well between my dad and me. Sure, it still needed some time until everything is completely the same again, but we didn't stress ourselves. After all, you couldn't just catch up on six years in one day, but we made sure we found the time.
This morning, for example, we went karting to a track that was close to ours. At least the battles in karting were still very similar to what they were back then. We are almost the same duo as we were.
Well actually everything was fine. If you didn't pay attention to the thing with Fabio. As I said, I was a bit over it, but I'd be lying if the thought of him didn't give me a pang.
Everything we had is just suddenly gone. I always thought it was impossible for Fabio and I to break up. Everything always seemed to be going great, but it was over now. Everything we needed in the relationship was there. Not anymore.

I put my cup, which had just been emptied, into the dishwasher and wanted to sit down on the couch when something stopped me. It rang.
I walked to the door and opened it without really expecting anyone.
Still I hadn't expected the one who was standing in front of me.
"Hey..." Fabio said slowly.
Fabio.
Fabio shows up...
...with a hey?
Suddenly anger seized me.
"Leave!"
His gaze was puzzled, but not surprised.
"Nika please..."
However, I interrupted him, "Annika for you. And now leave!"
He made no move to leave. Instead he started talking again, "I know I messed up-"
"Oh yes you did."
"-but please let me explain!"
"What are you thinking? You broke up with me without giving a real reason and now you're standing in front of my door because suddenly you're sorry. I managed to process this phone call and now you show up here and fuck it all up again because you seem to think I'm going to throw my arms around you again like nothing ever happened or what?"
"No Nika, I don't think so, but-"
I interrupted him again with a hiss, "My name is Annika. Now go away!"
I let the door fall shut behind me, but Fabio just managed to keep his foot against it to keep it open.
I walked towards the living room and he followed me, all the while talking, "I know that phone call I made was absolutely stupid and so was the two weeks of treating you like dirt. But it was because of my job. I couldn't separate that relationship from my job."
"Oh please, and what do I have to do with your job?" I answered and turned to him. A sudden urge to have a discussion gripped me.
"It sounds so stupid but I was jealous of you. I was jealous because you always do well when you have a race and you made it look so easy while I was disappointing all the time. You stood on the podium almost every week and at some point I couldn't stand it anymore that you always win and I always lose. I know it all sounds childish but it was so and looking back on it now I could beat myself for mine Stupidity."
I looked at him and repeated, "So you've been treating me so strangely over the past few weeks just because I've been getting better results even though I'm in a completely different racing series?"
"Well... yeah, you just summed that up pretty well," he replied.
"Fabio, are you stupid?", I spoke, "You became repellent out of nowhere, because of such a stupid reason. Didn't it ever occur to you to talk to me before you end the relationship right away?"
"I hate talking about my feelings, I know you've noticed that already, but I just can't do it. I've never been able to do it. It's one of my weaknesses," he replied and I shook my head.
"You can't use that as an apology."
"I know," said Fabio, "that's not supposed to be an Apology or excuse, but that's the way it was. Well, in the three weeks I just noticed how stupid my action was. I want to apologize. I know it doesn't work with one apology, but I don't want to lose you. Never in my whole life."
"But how am I supposed to trust you again after something like that. You hurt me. If you ever want me back, your walls will have to break. Fabio, how am I supposed to trust you again if you never confide in me?", I talked back and got tears of desperation in my eyes.
But suddenly there was something else. I longed for Fabio's warmth and his hugs. I could have cursed myself for that at that moment.
"I'm doing everything to make it good again. Really everything. I know it's going to be a long time before things get back to the way they were, if it ever gets like that again, but please give us another chance. Annika, There is no valid excuse for my behavior, but don't let our story end like this. Please."
I looked at him and he started again, "Please let's try again."
When he met my gaze he added, "Slowly."

Maybe it was the longing, but maybe it was the trembling in his last words that made me say the following words.
"Okay, but on one condition."
My mouth was clearly chattering faster than I wanted, but I didn't regret it.
"I'd do everything," Fabio answered me.
"Talk to me about your problems and don't shut yourself off, okay?"
"I promise you!"

Okay, call me naive for actually giving him a second chance and making a "promise" again with him, but it was worth it to me. Sometimes you just have to give people a second chance. You can see that in my dad and I too.
And I think it's not for nothing that Fabio drove all the way from Germany - where his race had been held this weekend - to here for something he doesn't mean at all.
And if it really didn't mean anything, then I'll just learn from it.
Life is for making mistakes. And if that mistake is getting involved with Fabio again, then I'm happy to make it.
But something told me it wasn't a mistake.