Magpie Flying Alone- a Warriors Fanfiction

Chapter 7- Torn

Sad wasn't exactly the right word to describe Magpiepaw. Unhappy wasn't too accurate either, though she wasn't happy. She just felt kind of... hollow, in a way. She had gone out hunting or to watch the sunset with Emberblaze a few more times, although she heard him describing them as "Dates" to his friends. Each and every time, Magpiepaw desperately wanted to go back to her nest as soon as the date started. She wished she could love him. She really did. But now she was spending more and more time on her own, probably an unhealthy amount. Most of the time, if she wasn't hanging out with Emberblaze, she was alone, lost in her own thoughts.

This particular day, she had climbed a pine tree and was staring off into the distance, hoping no one would find her. "Magpiepaw!" A voice called from below her, and she looked down to see Elkheart gazing up at her, squinting as he looked into the sun. "Have you been up there since dawn?" Before dawn, actually. Magpiepaw corrected him silently as she checked the sun's point in the sky and found that it was nearly sun-high. Along with socialization, she also hadn't been getting nearly enough sleep, and she was never hungry. She could tell Elkheart and Figspot were worried about her.

In a blink, Elkheart was clawing his way up the tree to sit beside her. "You should try to train at least a little bit more. I can tell Frogspots is losing hope in you." Elkheart Informed her. "You don't want to miss out on becoming a warrior, so close to your assessment. When is it, again?" "In ten sunrises." She responded blankly. Elkheart hesitated, before continuing. "You know, Fig and I miss you. And not just having you around. The old you. I'm sure Emberblaze does too." Magpiepaw looked at her paws. "But no one else does." She replied quietly. "I think they'd rather have me out of sight, out of mind. Especially my mother. She hates me because she saw me kill Blossompaw." Saying it so blankly made Magpiepaw want to cry again. 

"That's ridiculous! the only thing that could've helped Blossompaw was the rogue not being there in the first place. Blossompaw's real killer is that white cat, and she's dead." Elkheart said firmly. "And your mother doesn't hate you. She just can't accept that Blossompaw is gone." Neither can I. Magpiepaw thought sadly. "I just feel like my life isn't going anywhere. I don't have any plans and I'll probably never get a mate." "What about Emberblaze? Is everything going well with him?" Magpiepaw gently shook her head. Elkheart laid his tail over hers. "Your top priority is just doing whatever makes you happy, Magpiepaw." Magpiepaw sighed. I wish I could.

***

Magpiepaw hated the feeling of being torn. Torn between two things, usually ones that she loved, and having to choose one of them. Magpiepaw used to have friends, before Figspot and Elkheart. One singular friend, actually. Starlingsong was her best friend, inspiration, and the only thing in the world she truly loved. She was Magpiepaw's mischievous cousin, and six moons older than her. 

When Magpiepaw had been training for barely a moon, Starlingsong confessed to her. she admitted she had fallen in love with a rogue tom and was pregnant with his kits. Starlingsong asked Magpiepaw to run away with her, and it ripped the apprentice apart inside. She chose to stay with her mother and Clan, and two sunrises later Starlingsong was gone. For moons Magpiepaw had contemplated if she had made the right decision, but hastily decided she had. 

The feeling of being torn, and ripped apart inside was back, and she had to decide. Either break up with Emberblaze, and get him and her mother upset but stop being so anxious and uncomfortable; or please them but not be happy herself. When she chose to stay with StormClan all those moons ago, it had felt right, and she could barely imagine how her life would've been if she had chosen the other option. But now she wasn't so sure, and a new feeling overwhelmed her: If she did pick what made her happy, would it be the right choice?