STAR WARS: CONFLICTED

CHAPTER XIII - THE DARK SIDE

Nathan's new mechanical arm was not exactly the most comfortable experience for the young Jedi. Because of the metal wiring within his arm, doing basic actions such as washing or reaching for things created more problems than it normally would. He began to grow frustrated with not only the fact he now had this new prosthetic, but also because of how he lost it.

When he used the force to choke Dooku, he was only focused on the Sith Lord in front of him. His surroundings, which he could always sense, went dark, and he couldn't see anything other than the dark Jedi. This is why Dooku could use the force to cut his arm, by Ahsoka's blade, without him sensing it.

It had been days since the incident, almost a week, and he still had not told anybody about this, because he thought he knew what it was: the dark side. Tapping into the ways of the dark side was strictly frowned upon by the Council, even for Masters. Plo Koon was often kept under a close eye, because of his use of Force Judgement, the light side's version of Sith Lightning. However, it still required Plo to tap into the dark side.

Because of Nathan's lack of knowledge of the Force, he didn't want anyone to know, in case they stopped him from going on missions, to be safe, so that Nathan didn't end up doing it again. They knew as well as he did, that he couldn't control his power as well as those above him.

Finally, Nathan decided to speak with someone he trusted most. The person who had saved his life on Felucia, Master Shaak Ti. Perhaps she would understand and try to help him.

*    *    *

"Enter." The voice of Shaak Ti came from behind the door of her quarters. Nathan obliged and opened the door gently, poking his head round.

Shaak Ti was mid-meditation as her padawan entered the room. Her legs crossed on a mat, both lekku hanging over her knees.

"Ah, Nathan. How are you managing?" She spoke, eyes still closed facing opposite of the door where Nathan stood.
"I'm doing fine." Nathan said quietly, clearly not doing fine. He had his arms crossed, closing the door behind him with his foot.
"Hmm." Shaak Ti said, frowning slightly. "Your presence in the Force says otherwise, my padawan."
"You can sense my emotion?" Nathan asked slowly.
"Of course. My connection to you through the Force is very strong. I can sense when you feel a certain way." She replied.
"I see. Well, Master, I came here looking for advice. Do you have a moment?"
"Always." She now opened her eyes, and spun around to face her student.
Nathan took a seat by the door, arms still crossed, the mechanical one over the other.

"Firstly, I never got to fully thank you for saving my life down there." Nathan started.
"What you did for me is something I'll never forget."

"Nathan, part of my role as your Master is to always look out for you, to sense if you need my help. Besides, you did a much better job against Dooku than most would have."
Nathan winced at hearing this, now remembering the main part of this conversation.

"Master, when I fought Dooku, both Anakin and Ahsoka were unconscious. They didn't see me confront Dooku the second time. And..." he tailed off, trying to word this the best he could.

"It's okay, Nathan. I know how you feel." Shaak Ti said, finished his sentence for him.
"What do you mean?" Nathan asked.
"I know what happened. As myself and Masters Mundi and Kenobi were approaching, we all sensed what was happening. We felt the darkness from afar. But when we approached, and we saw it was you, holding him there, doing what you did," Shaak Ti shuddered, remembering the moment Dooku cut Nathan's arm off. "We knew you did what you did, because of your lack of training in the Force. You let your emotions cloud your judgement, and you struck out at Dooku in anger. Am I correct?"

Nathan paused. She was right, Nathan was angry at the time, and he wasn't thinking straight. But did she know that the reason for using the dark side was because of Ahsoka? He wasn't going to ask to find out.

"Yes, Master." He replied finally, glancing away from her.

"Experience is the greatest teacher, Nathan." Shaak Ti said, standing up and placing a hand on Nathan's shoulder. "This was a first step, on a long staircase. This may have been the steepest step. It may not have been. But soon, you will learn the true nature of the Force, and how to control it."

"Thank you." Nathan said, smiling. He got up and walked towards the door, turning as he opened it to face his master.

"May the Force be with you."