The Scars Between Us | KTH ✔️

Trap

❤️

Iris

I couldn't sleep last night.

I was practically passed out by the time we were out of the shower, but I woke up just a couple of hours later and I couldn't lull myself back to sleep.

Images of the fire surface in my mind, making sleep a long-forgotten desire of mine. Being left alone with my thoughts is a very hazardous thing because I can't stop wondering what would've happened if I was more careful.

Maybe I wouldn't have been here. Maybe I could've saved my dream from collapsing. Maybe I shouldn't have been so irresponsible with the security details. Maybe it's my fault...

My head keeps spinning, my mind running a thousand miles an hour, and a million “what ifs” rest on the top of my tongue.

I wish I would've done things differently. Maybe then, I wouldn't be sitting here regretting my mistakes and feeling sorry for myself.

The only person to be blamed is me. I am the only one responsible for this and I should deal with the consequences of my recklessness.

I heard shuffling sounds from the bedroom so I immediately rush to the sink to wash my face. I don't want Taehyung to see me crying again.

I dry my face with a few paper towels and put on a smile on my face before turning around.

I bump straight into his bare chest, which reminds me of what we did last night and a blush heats my face.

I clear my throat and say, "Good morning."

Gray sweatpants are the only article of clothing concealing his body, his hair a fluffy mess on the top of his head, and his eyes warm and soft, taking me in.

He remains silent and it's making me stir a little, so I was going to ask him what he wants for breakfast, but he says, "You were crying."

It doesn't come out as a question, he's certain, so I don't bother lying.

I avoid his stare and mumble, "I was feeling a little... I was just... I didn't-"

"It's not your fault", he states.

I look up at him, bewildered by his ability to read my mind, "How did you know-"

"Because I know you. I know you're blaming yourself, thinking it's your fault. But it's not."

"It kind of is", I lower my head, as if I'm being scolded for doing something wrong.

"No. It's not", he deadpans.

"But I was being irresponsible! I should've been more-"

"Listen to me", he cups my cheek and lifts my head so our eyes could meet, "none of what happened last night is your fault. You are not the one to be blamed. You were cautious with every decision you made. You're very dedicated and attentive to your work, so you don't get to punish yourself for something that was out of your control. Okay?"

Tears sting my eyes again, but I blink them away and say, "I could've done something to prevent it from happening. I could've added more security. I could've at least done something to save it... But I didn't."