A Lifetime Ago

Chapter 11

AN- im not gonna narrate the restarting of the 'lessons' cause I'm a little lazy 😛

(17 years old - Second year, second day of school)

I had spent the summer at Rose's working on myself and I can honestly say I feel better. I still have a bit of a journey ahead, but I'm glad I'm not still going down the rabbit hole. I walked with Rose and Bronte through the canteen, making our way to the courtyard. They'd practically dragged me from the warmth of my bed this morning saying it couldn't wait and that we needed to get to the front gates immediately. It wasn't too early, there were quite a few groups of students in the canteen, but considering I didn't have classes until the afternoon this was too early. We made it to the yard, the fresh summery-fall air flowing against my face as I pulled my coat tighter around me and hoisted my book bad higher on my shoulder.
I turned to Bronte; "What couldn't wait that you had to drag me out of bed?" I asked not seeing anything out of the ordinary.
Bronte smirked and waited to reply for a while before looked at something out of the corner of her eye. She turned, pointing towards the open front gate and finally replied: "That".
I whipped my head around to face the gates and accidentally let a sob escape my lungs at what I saw. My bookbag slipped off my shoulder as I ran across the yard, the heeled boots I was wearing not slowing me down at all and my jacket flapping against the wind, as it had not been properly done up. It was him. I couldn't believe it. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. When I got within a few steps of him he dropped his bags, arms out anticipating the hug that was coming for him and a wide smile on his face. I practically jumped into his arms, burrowing my face in his shoulder as he took a few steps back so as to not fall over, his arms wrapping around me tightly. A few tears of joy escaped my eyes but I didn't care. He was here and I was with him, in his arms, again.
"I missed you so much" I mumbled into the collar of his shirt
"I missed you too Fay" Saul replied, giving me a kiss on the cheek and resting his head against mine. Hearing him say my name melted my heart and made me realize just how much I needed him in my life. It felt as though his absence had already brought us closer. I never wanted to leave his side ever again. He was my life raft. My salvation. My knight in shining armor.
"I'm so sorry Fay," he said after a moment of peaceful silence. "I never wanted to leave you, but I had no choice. Rosalind doesn't take no for an answer. And I had no way to contact you or the outside world."
I pulled back a little so I was facing him, his arms still wrapped around my waist. I took his face in my hands, rubbing my right thumb against his cheek. "It's in the past" I replied, giving him a small smile. He returned the smile then pulled me closer again and brushed his lips against mine. He released me from his grip, swinging his bags over one shoulder and wrapping his other arm around my shoulder as we walked back towards the school where Rose and Bronte were waiting for us. I broke loose from him going to retrieve my bag from Bronte. When I turned back around he and Rose were conversing in hushed whispers and I already knew what it was about by the guilty, pitiful look he was throwing my way. I really wish that could stay in the past. But I understood why it couldn't, just because I felt better, doesn't mean I am. And I suppose the truth was owed to him. I just hoped nothing about Andreas had been mentioned. I stayed close as we made our way to his suite to drop off his bags. When he opened the door I held my breath hoping Andreas wasn't there. I hadn't seen him yet since school started up again. Luckily he wasn't. He tossed his bags on the empty and deserted bed and we headed towards the exit and towards my suite that was a little more... well let's go with decorated and lived in.

When we made it to my suite it was pretty empty, I think maybe Bronte might've retreated back to her room before her classes but that was it. I opened the door to the room I share with Rose and followed him in. We sat down on my bed, I sat in between his outstretched legs, my back leaning against him. His arms were wrapped tight around me, his head buried in my neck. I rested my head against his and closed my eyes resting for a while. We stayed like this for at least an hour I'd say until he finally decided to speak up.
"Fay," He said gently, his voice barely a whisper as he stroked my hair.
I opened my eyes acknowledging his words so he knew I was awake, then snuggled deeper into his embrace.
"We need to talk" His voice was still soft, his lips gently as he gave my neck a small kiss and then another kiss on my cheek.
"Or..." I started, shifting in his embrace so I could face him "We could not" I suggested, really not wanting to converse over the subject I knew he was trying to bring up. I rested my hands on the hem of his shirt and leaned in for a kiss. At first he obliged yet when I tried to deepen the kiss he pushed me back slightly just enough that our lips couldn't meet. Slightly frustrated that my plan to distract him hadn't succeeded, I sat back on my heels.

He sighed "Farah, what happened last year is serious." His voice was firm yet caring.

"You weren't there last year." I snapped at him harshly and instantly regretted it, nonetheless I kept the same tone of voice. "You. Weren't. There. So you don't get to lecture me or feel sorry for me. I'm better. I'm getting better." I corrected myself quickly. A guilty, almost sad puppy dog look appeared on his face yet the rage within me wouldn't dissipate. But he seemed to have taken the hint and given up.
"Look, Farah, we don't have to talk about it right now. But I want you to know I'm always here for you. Whether that's a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to." He grabbed my hand and gave it a small squeeze and the tension that had been building up within me slowly started to drain. I laid back down in his embrace without saying another word and just laid there taking everything in.