A Year in my Head

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen: A Mess

I wake up, extra tired today. I don't know why I just don't feel like doing anything today. I go to the bathroom and see how greasy my hair is.

   "God.."

   I throw it up in a bun and brush my teeth. I look fine, no one cares. We've been with each other for more than six months. That's long enough for everyone to realize our hair gets greasy. I'm the first girl awake, per usual. I go into the mess hall, no one's sitting at the table. I check the clock and realize it's seven in the morning? Why am I awake so early? I don't remember a dream waking me up.

   A noise from the kitchen startles me. My head snaps to the door. Is that one of the boys? Or a stranger...? I grab a hairbrush sitting on the table. Why is there a hairbrush? No idea but for now it'll work as a weapon.

   I walk closer to the door into the kitchen. Why am I potentially risking my life? I have no idea. But it's seven in the morning and I want a cup of tea. I slowly open the door and see Chase on the floor. Pancake mix splattered all over in front of him. He looks as if he's about to start sobbing.

   Chase looks up to the sound of the door opening. He quickly wiped his eyes, standing up.

   "Oh, morning Ace. I didn't expect anyone else awake this early."

   "Neither did I," I say slowly, sitting down the brush.

   He starts cleaning up the mess, sniffling. I immediately start helping him. I don't know if it would be a good idea to talk about him being on the verge of crying or not. Personally I like people to ask if I'm okay. It shows they care. So I do.

   "Chase."

   "Hm?"

   "Chase, look at me."

   He looks up. Tears in his eyes.

   "What's wrong?"

   "Nothing."

   "Oh please, you look like someone just ran your dog over."

   "Dropping the bowl startled me. That's all."

   "I don't believe that. Come here." I sit down, away from the mess. Leaning against a set of cabinets.

   "The mess..."

   "The mess isn't going anywhere."

   He set down the bowl in the sink, wipes his hands, and walks over. He sits down next to me. Our legs touching. Suddenly I'm worrying my about my hair. It's so greasy. He's probably judging me so much right now.

   Oh who am I kidding, he's sobbing. And I'm worried about the slight shine my hair has today.

   "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask him quietly. He shakes his head.

   Then I hear the sobs. Chase is fully crying. I don't know why. But I want to help him.

   "Hey, hey, hey," I whisper.

   I put my arm around him, pulling him closer. He put his head on my shoulder. Uncontrollably crying.

   After a few minutes, his breathing starts to slow down. He brings his head, wiping his eyes.

   "I'm really sorry," he starts to get up.

   "Chase there is no reason to be sorry. I want to make sure you are okay."

   He turns back to look at me. Starting to cry again.

   "I'm not. I'm really not okay. There's so much going on right now. I don't get a single second to think for myself. It feels like my mind is always running. I go to sleep, but when I wake up I feel like I didn't. It doesn't make sense, but any slight relaxation I get; I don't. I seem happy and okay; I'm not. I am every emotion at once. Every second of every day. I cannot get a break. The only time I feel even close to relaxed is with you. Just you. I'm a mess, Ace. But it feels like I'll never get cleaned up."

   I stand up, his tearful eyes following me. I wrap my arms around his waist. He takes a second but hugs me back, holding me close. We pull apart, looking into each other's eyes. I like this man so much. I cannot believe I just met him this year. His hugs feel so familiar.

   "Let's clean this mess, shall we?"

   He smiles. The prettiest smile I've ever seen.

   We clean up the pancake mix. I could tell he was starting to relax. I open the trash, smiling. Smiling because I know he's relaxed right now. Smiling because it's just the two of us.

   "Why are you smiling at the trash?" Chase laughs.

   I look up and feel embarrassed.

   "I'm not smiling at the trash."

   "Then what are you smiling at?"

   "You."

   I walk up, kiss his cheek, and start to leave the kitchen.

   "Start another batch of pancake mix. I'm going to go wake the others and we all are going to eat breakfast today, together. It's going to be a good day."

   Who am I? I just kissed Chase Andrews on the cheek. After planning on protecting myself from a stranger with a hairbrush.

   Oh god, I've got to shower. My hair is a mess.

*A/N: I know this chapter is in a different tense then the others, but I am trying to rewrite this story and revamp it a little bit. I believe my writing has improved since the last time I have updates this book. So I would like to improve this book, too.*