Thundering Darkness

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Pebblepaw stood, staring at Darkpaw, waiting for the she-cat to react. She couldn't fathom calling the black cat by her 'warrior name,' because it sent thrills of horror down her pelt. Pebblepaw couldn't think of Darkpaw as anything but Darkpaw, even though she had her warrior name. She couldn't believe that the two cats had been so close together on ThunderClan territory for so long, and thought of each other so much, but never talked to each otherDarkpaw twitched an ear in indecision, narrowing her eyes. "I guess we do need to talk," she mewed at last, her voice and expression unreadable.

"I wasn't the one who suggested this meeting," Pebblepaw offered, trying to break the awkward silence.

The grass swished as Darkpaw lashed her tail, from atop the boulder where she stood, her ears suddenly laid flat. "Look," she snarled. "I don't know what you expect from me. Do you want me to be all, oh I'm so sorry for what happened two moons ago? Do you want me to say, I forgive you for his death? Do you want me to break down, bow before you without question like some cats here are obviously doing, and become your subservient pet? Are you trying to prove that a little bit of kindness is all we need to stop a war?"

Before Pebblepaw could get a word in, Darkpaw kept on going on her tangent, breath raged. "I don't give a fox-dung about any of it. The thing happened. You almost died, you should have, you should have d-"

Her words caught in her throat, and Darkpaw wheezed. The black she-cat's piercing green eyes surveyed Pebblepaw, looking at the painful scars and wounds along her flanks. Pebblepaw sat silently, forcing herself to sit through this. She had spent her whole life up until the incident living alongside Darkpaw. The two cats had hunted together, patrolled together, and Pebblepaw had never known the full extent of all Darkpaw had been going through. All the anger, loneliness, mistrust. She's evil, though, all cats that did what she did are. She thought to herself, then added. But the reason she did it, all of it... I just don't understand.

Darkpaw looked at her, emotion welling up in her eyes, like a massive thunderstorm wanting to be released. Pebblepaw stared back. She wanted to move, but her paws felt rooted to the rock that she was sitting on. Darkpaw spat out the next words, "What. Has. Changed?" Each word seemed like a struggle for her to get out.

Pebblepaw wasn't sure whether Darkpaw wanted to leap at her, or talk to her. Darkpaw didn't speak, and Pebblepaw looked down at the ground. She really needs help. We all do. I don't know what to do.

Eventually, Pebblepaw managed the strength to look up at Darkpaw, and felt horror shrill through her pelt. Her claws were unsheathed and rooted to the rock, her eyes were dark and helpless, and water glittered in their depths, and yet her fur was spiked in anger, too. At that moment, one word came to Pebblepaw, alone.

Darkpaw looked at her, "don't you ever just want it to be over?" she snarled.

Pebblepaw stared at her, and found the strength to speak as moonlight pooled down on the river. "Once, I did. After the incident I... felt so useless, so alone. It hurt so much, in here." She pointed at her heart. "At that moment, he told me to keep going, and I tried. After that, it didn't magically get better; anxiety and depression still plagued me at night, but I found cats who genuinely loved me, and who I loved back, and the weight started to loosen."

Darkpaw didn't speak, and Pebblepaw found the right words. They were two simple words, but they held a weight of gravity and meaning, far beyond what most cats would think at first glance.

"Look up."

Darkpaw stared at her in bewilderment, and then did. As the two she-cats faced their muzzles to the night sky, a star twinkled. Nightpaw. For a long time, Pebblepaw looked up, wishing that he would magically appear before them, wave his paw, and make Darkpaw feel less empty. The reality of the matter, though, was that the world didn't work that way. There was no magical instant-world-healing power. There were only cats, who had to make choices that were sometimes very difficult.