Rancorous

Chapter 30

PRESENT

Herlina

"You're not putting enough icing on them my dear." My mother takes the cupcakes my father decorated and spreads another fat glob of icing on top.

"I'm sorry, honey. I forgot I live with the two biggest sweethearts on the planet." My dad chuckles and my mother and I join him.

"I think you mean sweet teeth dad." I shake sprinkles all over the cupcakes I made.

"Oh yeah, that too." My dad gathers a generous amount of frosting for the next cupcake. When he's done evenly icing the little cake, he smiles proudly. "Like this?"

My mom and I give him a pleasing smile and clap for him.

"Yes, exactly like that." My mother kisses him on the cheek and I grin in happiness.

This. This is what I missed so much. The energy in the room is reminiscent of what I grew up in and I thank the man upstairs for bringing it back to me.

After all the two dozen cupcakes are decorated, we put them in the fridge but not before we each try one. Well, my dad gets one, but my mom and I can't help ourselves so we each grab two. Tomorrow night, they'll probably be gone thanks to my mom and I.

The three of us gather on the couch in the living room as my dad chooses a movie. I drop the large bowl of popcorn in the middle of the coffee table along with three waters.

My dad decides on my favorite Disney princess movie growing up. The one that I had on my backpack, notebooks, pencils, toothbrush, clothing, stickers, practically everything I owned as a little girl.

I laugh. "I'm not six anymore dad."

"I know. But this movie has actually grown on me and I kind of miss it." My dad smiles sheepishly.

My mother giggles. "Can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with your dad Lina."

I smile at the nickname she called me as a little girl.

She leans against my father who wraps an arm around her. Tears of joy want to break out, but I blink, eat my cupcake and get lost in the movie.

Even if the rest of my life is crumbling apart, and there may be this whole in my heart the shape of a missing puzzle piece, I feel safe. Sound. Comfortable. At home with my parents.

And that's something that no one can take away from me.

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I don't seek him Monday morning. Or even Tuesday. I can feel his eyes on my every move. Although he doesn't sit next to me in the few classes we share, the everlasting effect of his gaze is never lost on me.

The several times that I glance up at him throughout the day, I give him a soft smile. He doesn't reciprocate, but instead darts his eyes away only to bring them back to me when I'm not looking.

I feel it. Feel the way my skin lights up with goosebumps under his stare. The way my heart picks up pace as if to remind me who it beats for. Who it yearns for.

His eyes hold a vast array of questions, and I just can't bring myself to go near him.

Truth is, I'm hurting. And I need some space between us to breathe in relief and serenity.

He's been wreaking havoc over my life ever since he came back. The destruction he has caused is immense. I don't have any friends at the moment. I walk through the halls alone. I no longer have Milo or Presley to lean on. Nobody glances in my direction.