Rancorous

Chapter 20

SEVEN YEARS AGO

Brevin

"Can you believe we're going to middle school Brevin? I can't wait! We're going to have lockers like in the movies! We're definitely joining some clubs Brevin. Oh, oh! We should take band together. I've always wanted to play the saxophone!"

Herlina continued babbling about her goals and desires as she searched for her box of Legos in her closet. I didn't mind at all as I loved hearing her voice, but I didn't like the topic at hand.

It felt like my heart was swinging on a rope fifty miles above a cliff whenever I thought about middle school.

Secondary school meant multiple different classes and less of a chance to see Herlina. It meant no recess time to be with Herlina. It meant different lunch schedules and that also meant another way for me to not interact with my Sunrise.

What if our distancing made our friendship chip away until there was nothing left between us?

That would break my heart into a million pieces. The only reason I ever woke up with a smile on my face was because I knew I would be seeing Herlina in the day.

Seeing the sun rise in the morning was not enough, I needed her.

Herlina walked out of her closet carrying a large blue box with a red lid. Sitting down on the carpeted floor across from me, she dunked all of her Legos on the ground.

"I love the sound of Legos when I pour them out and I don't know why." She laughed and my heart smiled, but my face didn't. Would I ever see Herlina at school again? I needed to see her more than simply coming by her house.

We started to build wherever our imagination took us. Herlina was making herself a nice blue car and I worked on stacking little rectangles and cubes to make some sort of building. I didn't know yet what to classify it.

Herlina continued, not shying away from talking about her high hopes for middle school. There was no doubt she was over the moon happy. I nodded and offered simple one word answers here and there not really reciprocating the same thrilled feelings.

She left and returned with a large bowl of popcorn and juice boxes.

"Wow Brevin, that looks amazing." Herlina commented on my building as she handed me an apple juice.

"Thanks Sunrise." I had made a lot of progress on it in the last hour and decided to consider it a hotel with a small restaurant beside it.

"Brevin?"

"Hm?" I started working on another little building.

"What's wrong?" She spoke so delicately I snapped my eyes up. I was met with soft green eyes that made my chest cave in.

"Nothing." I held her gaze trying to convince myself and her. I didn't want to take away her overjoyed demeanor by my hesitation.

Herlina tilted her head to the side and ever so gently lifted a corner of her lip. "You can tell me Brevin. Whatever it is, you can confess it to me." She sat close to me and placed her hand over mine on the ground. "Confide in me."

I took a deep breath, focusing on the warmth of the hand she placed over mine. Something about the way it felt and the gentle look in her green eyes made me involuntarily open up. "I'm scared of middle school."

She slipped her hand underneath mine. Our fingers locked and she squeezed. "How so?"

I moved my gaze to our joined hands noticing my heart beating at a slow and comfortable pace. "I fear we won't have any classes together. What if we don't have the same lunch? What if I don't see you at school anymore?"