Found and Lost

Chapter 17

⚠️SA Warning ⚠️
I heard glass breaking from behind my father as something materialized. I look at the glass flakes holding my memories in hope and wish again. Please someone who's seen it please! help me! The glass begins to spin as I feel lightheaded as the world lights up with spots. My father screams at me gripping my hair. He's yelling something, but my senses aren't working anymore. I hear a gasp before passing out from using my ability.

I'm unsure of how much time has passed. When I awoke I was in this sloshy dark tunnel. Horrible memories passed through me as I re-experienced the abuse. Turns out there was a time where I gave in due to my fathers conditioning. I thought he was just drunk and I didn't want him to hit me. It never really hit me how much i went through but as I'm dragged in, and out of the worst of it. I'm unsure if I'm deserving of any other treatment.

When I came to my senses hadn't fully come back. I could feel my body and where I was. Another bed more medical shit pricked into my arms. This bed wasn't like the others it was hard. I couldn't see or hear or speak. I just felt around helplessly. I ripped the things from my arms causing sharp pains. Suddenly that arm wouldn't move and I was feeling light headed again. I stumbled to a wall, and felt my way to a door and out of it. However before I could fully exit I was grabbed and forced back down onto that stiff hard bed. I strugged but they strapped me down, and treated my arm. I couldn't hear a thing but I felt the ground shake and rumble. Then there was a kiss on my forehead. I squirmed away turning my head quickly. It hurt my throat due to the straps. Whoever did it backed away and the ground shook again. I desperately wished to hear or see what was happening. Where was I? Who was near me? Do I know anyone? Am I trapped? I'm scared, but maybe I deserve this.

This went on for a long time after a few weeks I was able to speak and another week or so hear. The ground shaking was due to chuuya's angry stomps. The forehead kiss was from chuuya to comfort me. I think I hurt him when I did jerked away. Dazai apparently is the one who found me and called chuuya. Dazai is keeping me stuck here by cancelling my ability. My sister refuses to visit. Chuuya is extremely worried and i was apparently in a coma thing for a year. That and losing my senses on top of that upon waking up was concerning.

I was constantly under surveillance as my nightmares would cause me to jolt or become erratic or worse I'd try to harm myself. The restraints weren't coming off. Dazai was with me 24/7 and chuuya visted when he could. The doctors kept pricking me trying to figure out the reasoning. Dazai kept asking how, and why I summoned him despite the fact I told him I can't control it. Chuuya didn't speak much just asked how I was doing, and if I was being treated well. He'd stop by ask his questions then pat my head and leave. I asked dazai about chuuya and how he looked. However dazai would squeeze my wrist tightly when I did. So over time I stopped asking. Dazai hated being at my side and when we talked it was never fun.

"Dazai?" I start.

"What?" Dazai says annoyed.

"You hate me right? Why not let me just disappear and off myself?" I say.

"Because, a certian someone would never forgive me" Dazai states.

"Chuuya? You like him don't you?" I ask.

"He's my dog that's all" Dazai says.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"Stop asking I won't tell you" Dazai says.

"Why not? Is there something wrong with this place?" I ask.

"Shut your mouth before I make you" Dazai growls as he grips my wrist hard.

I go quiet and close my eyes. Over time his grip loosens back to normal. Dazai wasn't in a good mood and was definitely tense. I noticed it when i realized daza8 was the one gripping my wrist. When he squeezed it that ment enough and continue and you die. Chuuya wouldn't be so cold. So I used to think. He isn't here though. At night a man similar to my fathers voice would come in. Dazai's grip grew tighter around him. I'm unsure as to the reasons, but I refused to say a word to the man. He would walk up to me and brush my hair and caress my cheek. I would tremble at the touches and struggle at my restraints. However not even dazai moved. Over time this man became more touchy and... There was no chuuya.