unbreak the broken ✘ shawn hunter (BMW)

N I N E T E E N

The Student Union was basically deserted today. I made maybe 10 drinks today. Everyone's still at home on break.

I'm alone for my entire shift, the hours shortened as well because we're on holiday hours.

Once 3 o'clock rolls around, I drag my feet closing. Nothing but hurt waits for me once I leave. I have nowhere to go besides the Pink Flamingo.

My car's the only one in the parking lot, making it quite easy to locate it.

The 20 minute drive to the trailer goes by way too quickly, and I'm soon parking and walking to the door.

A bright yellow paper is taped to the screen, reading EVICTION NOTICE.

We're getting evicted?

I read the rest of the paper, noticing it says that because of lack of payment, we are being kicked out.

I walk in and immediately spot a similar looking paper crumbled up on the kitchen table. Keith must have seen it then. I see him sitting on the couch staring at me.

"Are you paying the bills?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Didn't I tell you," Keith sits up, "to get the fuck out?"

I ignore him and walk right past time into my room. I kick the bag of my clothes in further, it hasn't moved from its place when Keith threw it at me. I close the door behind me and lock it.

Something slams against it. It sounded like a bottle, but nothing shattered.

My room looks like a tornado ran through it. I straightened a few things up so I could sleep in my bed tonight.

I called the lady that showed me the apartment two days ago, but she never answered. It was the day after Thanksgiving, so I'm trying to be patient. She's probably on vacation with her family enjoying life.

I have nowhere else to go now, so I'm praying I get a call soon. I refuse to stay on the guys couch for another night - Shawn would be too cocky about the fact that he was right; I do run to their apartment for rescuing, I just never knew that was bad until now.

Shawn also obviously didn't want me there. I thought we were on good terms, so the out-lash still puzzles me. Maybe some bad happened during Thanksgiving dinner? He didn't get the side he wanted?

I'm sure that when Eric got back he would feel the same way now that he has a girlfriend. Maybe Jack would want me there?

Going to my backpack to see what work I have in there, I search through it knowing there was something important to be completed.

I finally see a paper that has the assignment I was supposed to be doing over break for my creative writing class.

The prompt for the free write was: Imagine you had the opportunity to give your younger self advice. What would you say?

I sit and think for a bit about this question? What would I say? I can't remember if my professor was reading these, or just checking to see if we did it.

Because it's a creative writing class, we are allowed to do these prompts in whatever format we want. I decide to make a list.

1) I'm sorry.

2) Get out when you can.

3) Don't be so naive.

4) Call your Aunt back, she'll stop reaching out eventually.

5) Don't tell him about the money you saved from Mom. He'll take it all to fuel his addictions.

6) Talk to Topanga. She's a fantastic friend who you need to have.

7) Throw out that ugly green shirt, and definitely don't wear it everyday of freshman year.

8) Sleeping with people will not stop the hurt.

9) Hide your polaroids better.

10) Flee to the West Coast, or as far away from Philadelphia as possible.

11) Don't cry at your high school graduation; people will stare at you.

12) The math test you failed in high school won't matter.

13) Don't cry over S. H.

I think the last one is more advice for me now than for past me. I don't take my advice either way; a tear works it's way down my cheek as I remember the hate shown on his face.