Chase The Dark Together || Nishimura Riki (Ni-Ki)

44 ¦ I Need the Light

You're not coming to school today? -Victoria

I got this message from Vic the next morning while I was brushing my teeth. My brothers had already left for school after Sunghoon made sure I wouldn't need his help. Class would start in 5 minutes and Vic had apparently noticed my absence. I spit out the toothpaste, rinsed my mouth and then wiped it with a towel, then picked up my cell phone and answered.

Yeah, I need to get away from all the people at school. -Cam

Actually, I just needed distance from 2 people.

I went back to my room and dropped down on my bed. Immediately I felt the tiredness I was trying to suppress since I hadn't slept all night. An incredible number of questions kept me from much needed sleep. What will happen next? Will the pain eventually stop? Or will it become more bearable with time? Will I forgive Ni-ki? I quickly shook my head, brushing the last question out of my mind. I don't want to think about that, and I won't. 

Okay recover well and if you need someone to talk to, let me know. But for the class trip next week, you'll be there, right? - Vic

Her answer came after a minute and I picked up my phone again to read through it. The class trip was exactly what I needed right now. A whole week of just our class with the parallel class. That meant no Yeonjun and no Ni-ki. Since they are both in two other classes, but in the same grade. 

Thanks, I'll do it and sure I'm in :) -Cam

Since the bell must have rung for class by now, I didn't get an answer. I sat up in my bed and looked out the window. Even though I had already cried my eyes out, there was still this anger and sadness in me and I just didn't know how to get rid of it. 

Finally, I had an idea. I didn't know if it would work, but it was worth a try. So I got up and went to my computer, which I turned on and opened a empty document. I put my fingers on the keyboard and swallowed. Let out all your anger and sadness! I thought to myself and started writing. 

I wrote and wrote and even didn't pause when I saw everything blurry because of the veil of tears. A drop fell on my hand, but I didn't stop and wrote down all my feelings. Everything I would have liked to say and do to Yeonjun and Ni-ki. And eventually I finished... 

Exhausted, I leaned back in my chair and put my, now aching, hands in my lap. I took a deep breath in and out and smiled slightly when I realized that I really was feeling better. I hadn't said those words out loud, but I had formulated them and written them down. And a different feeling was finally spreading through me, other than anger, sadness, and despair. It was relief.

On Friday, I also did not go to school. I felt better, but I still had the fear of meeting someone I didn't want to meet. Then on the weekend Victoria visited me and I managed to tell her everything. She was completely horrified, stunned and then angry. Eventually I calmed her down though and she muttered another "boys suck" which I totally agreed with. This topic was fortunately not our main topic, because we were already both quite excited about the class trip.

"Unfortunately, we will certainly have to hike a lot again. You know our class teacher." She rolled her eyes when she said that.