Trauma

CHAPTER 13

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Zee POV

The next morning I woke up early to make breakfast. I have a meeting early in the morning though I will return home before lunch I'm still worried about leaving Nhu alone with Fa Ying. I set the breakfast on three plates and went to my bedroom. Nhu had come to my bedroom at dawn because he had a nightmare so I let him share the bed with Fa Ying.

I entered my bedroom and my two babies were still sleeping cuddled together. Honestly, I tried hard to stop the urge to join them and cuddle. I stroke Nunew's hair softly; he looked utmostly beautiful. How I wish I could hide from this shady world and keep you safe with me forever. I want to tell him how much I want to keep him locked here for myself that even I myself afraid of this side of mine. The more I spent those 5 years without you the more I get these kinds of thoughts; destructive thoughts. Would Nunew run away after learning about this? What should I do with myself?

"P'Zee, what are you thinking?" I hadn't noticed that Nunew was already awake. I smiled shaking my head.

"It's nothing. Nhu has to get up now. I made breakfast-" even before I finished speaking Nunew's eyes lit up.

"Really! Nhu is so hungry." He rubbed his belly pouting at me. Does he know he is making my heart go crazy? why do I think he is doing this on purpose? At this rate, my heart will pop out of my body. setting my thoughts aside, I raised my hand and patted his head softly. He closed his eyes leaning toward me like a kitten.

"Then wash up fast. Hia will wait downstairs for you." I felt Nhu stiffen in my hand. He looked at me as if I had said something he-. Did I just call myself hia!!!!

"Hia??" Nunew questioned looking at me.  He doesn't remember, right?

"I have met you before, haven't I? P'Zee" His question left my mouth zipped up. Is it really turning this way? I didn't want to tell you about it like this.

"T-That... I-I " word trembled out of my mouth. It's like I had no courage, to tell the truth.

"You know me. do we have a connection? s-something ...l-like b-brothers..." Nunew voiced out shaking. His eyes looked glossy and his lips were turned into thin lines. I could see the moment he will be crying coming near. I quickly cupped his face in my hands and looked into his eyes. I need to make this right. I'm not going to lose him again. Not this time and never in this life.

"N-Nhu, calm down. we are not brothers. But I need you to believe me. I know  I'm a shitty person for asking you to trust me when I'm not telling you the truth but I promise I don't have any ill intentions. So trust me this time, will you?" I slid one of my hands to his neck. He seemed to think for a while. It made me anxious. What if he doesn't trust me?

"T-Then... umm." He just moved his head.

"Umm?" I asked confused.

"I will believe you... this time. But you have to explain everything." Nunew placed his hand above mine. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Nhu.I won't disappoint you for believing me. I will explain everything to you after you eat something. You must be hungry."

"Umm. But Ying." He looked at Fa Ying sleeping comfortably beside him.

"Maybe, we should head for breakfast, and when she wakes she will have it later," I suggested to Nunew. He seemed convinced and got out of bed and went to freshen up.

I returned to the kitchen, serving the breakfast on the table. Nunew also came to the kitchen after me, somehow the heavy load had been feeling since he got hurt, today I feel it less as if the load was lifted up. Nunew came around and sat in one of the chairs. I also sat down and started having breakfast. Now that I have told him that I will explain everything, I don't know where to start explaining. Will it be okay for him? Will he be able to handle all the information?

"P'Zee, i-is something wrong with my face?" I was traced out of my thoughts by Nunew's voice.

"Huh?... Uhh...No- Nothing's wrong. Sorry, continue eating." My face became red out of embarrassment. Zee Pruk, get hold of yourself.

"You are only telling me to eat. But about you? You should eat well too, P'Zee." He flashed me the sweetest smile I had ever seen. And suddenly my heart skipped a beat, my eyes glistened a bit without my acknowledgment. I quickly blinked away the tears.

"P'Zee, are you okay?" Nunew's worried voice reached my ears. I want to say I'm not; that I missed hugging Nhu and holding hands with him, walking together. I missed having him around me doing goofy things, sulking to me about some random things, and giving sniff kisses. I missed his whole being beside me. But...

"Ahh, I'm okay, don't worry." I lied forcing a smile.

"You said you'll explain to me. A-are you... going to?"

"Nhu, do you know you and I have been together for our whole childhood? not really mine since I was already grown up but your childhood, you spent it playing with me. You always used to stick around me even though I always told you to make friends of your age." Nunew was listening to me carefully, I couldn't stop the smile forming on my lips while remembering the old sweet days.

"D-Did I? We were friends..."He looked at me curiously.

"Um. You used to call me Hia and I used to call you Nhu. My dad and your dad were best friends."

"But why don't I remember any of the things you told me?"

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