You Me, A Place To Be

𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐳𝐞 | 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬

Love was never out there for Peter.

But then, a princess found him. Peter didn't believe in love, but that unsettling feeling in his stomach that made him want to brush his fingers through that cute girl's hair, that made him want to hold her hand until the very end... God. That feeling was different.

Peter didn't know what it was, but then all he could think when he looked at her was I love you I love you I love you, and that's sort of when he realised love was a mixture of a bunch of small things - like the need to always make the cute girl laugh, like the need to always hold her close until she fell asleep, like the feeling that something was missing whenever she wasn't around.

It's the same feeling Peter feels now as he watches Y/N's body lying naked against his sheets.
Y/N was already half asleep as they made their way upstairs to Peter's room, she took a wee half asleep or even dead on the toilet. And when Peter placed her in bed, it was a matter of seconds before she fell asleep - not without making Peter promise he would come back to lay with her after he said he was just taking a shower.

But Peter doesn't shower. Instead, he walks to his balcony - noticing as the girl in his bed shivers when the cold wind comes into the room, pulling the sheets closer to her body. Peter stands with his back against the wall, and, fuck, Peter just watches her. Honestly, even if he wanted to look away, he wouldn't be able to because she's there.

Peter doesn't even notice as his hand moves to his own face, fingertips brushing against his own lips - still bitten raw. He still tastes her on his lips, still feels her warm against his body, still hears her pleas in his ears. God. He can barely even make up a thought in his mind. Instead, his head spins and spins again because, fuck, Y/N is there.

Y/N is in his bed just like Y/N was lying underneath him as she took him. Just like she's supposed to be.

This is what Peter's craved for years, what he never thought he would ever have again. And the thing is it doesn't feel like it's too much. It doesn't feel nearly fucking enough. It's like now that he's had it again, he can't bear the thought of not having it anymore. All he knows is that if it broke him when he lost it before, it would totally, completely wreck him if he lost her now.

Peter doesn't tell himself it is love, avoids the word more than anything - it's a subconscious awareness that he's already admitted that he wants her, that he needs her here, he's already admitted so much to himself, that he refuses to confess that it's love.

Because love isn't for him. Love is designed for many people, but it's like his mom used to say when he was little - love is a once in a lifetime thing. God. Peter's already had his shot in love and he let it slip through his fingers like his mom told him not to. Love is a one time thing and it isn't happening again.

But God, Peter craves her. Peter watches her not because he isn't sleepy, not because he doesn't want to lay with her in her arms. Peter watches her because she's there - and fuck if it isn't what Peter's wanted most for the past ten years. Peter watches her - afraid to even blink - because he's scared if he sleeps, he will wake up and this will all have been a dream. Peter watches her because she's there and he's so scared if he closes his eyes for a mere second, she will slip away from his fingers.

Peter watches her because she's there and this here - the only person he's ever loved, the only person he's ever seen a life with, the only person he's ever found love in - is all he could've ever prayed for.