The Asshole App (Expanded Version) ✅ Wattys2023

𝟢𝟦 𝖱𝖺𝗒𝗆𝗈𝗇𝖽

Evelyn Simmons took a seat next to CENTIEN's Senior VP of Tech Development in Sinclair's minimalistic corner office. She crossed her delicate ankles and smoothed her skirt. Raymond saw her swallow as she looked straight ahead. Seeing that her stubborn little face was extremely pale, he nodded with satisfaction.

She should be nervous—she's challenging a Titan.

Next to her, Lori Jacobs was ready to do battle. She waved a printed email as if she brandished a burning matador's red flag. "Ray, I have one question for you. What the hell is an Oompa-Loompa?" 

Centien's CEO rolled his eyes. "Everyone knows Oompa-Loompas are the workers at Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. They're imported directly from Loompaland." He raised his hands and made exaggerated air quotes. "Just like our interns, they'll work their asses off for free cocoa." He leaned back in his ergonomic chrome and mesh office chair and chortled.

Evelyn winced with renewed annoyance. "Mr. Sinclair, why do you disrespect the people who work for you?" She swallowed her choking pain.

Sinclair caught her gaze and narrowed his eyes. "Respect has to be earned. Did Lori put you up to this La Vida Loca behavior?" It was out of character for a subservient intern to complain about his antics.

"You stupid, ass—that's what I'm talking about." Lori's blue eyes blazed as she slid the cuffs of her navy button down shirt higher up her generous forearms. "You treat people like they're disposable trash."

Raymond scowled at his Senior Executive—a woman whose opinion he had once valued and respected. "My God, why couldn't you have stayed in the Matrix where you belong with the fucking Oracle and your rogue operating systems?"

Lori hunched her shoulders. "I prefer not to discuss your stupidity until the moderator arrives."

Dennis Lear, CENTIEN's harried CFO, breezed through the door carrying an expensive leather briefcase. In his early thirties and dressed in a dark, three-piece wool suit that looked good on his athletic frame, he was the epitome of a savvy negotiator. His last five years at CENTIEN had been a stress-filled nightmare. Now the executive's handsome face was lined, and his dark-brown temples were turning a distinguished silver. "Sorry, I'm late. You guys didn't start without me?" He took a seat and opened his laptop, then froze as the tension pierced him like a knife. "What's going on here?"

"Relax, Dennis. We're not defusing a bomb." Raymond stretched his long, jeans-clad legs out in front of him.

"I never know when it comes to you two." He smiled politely at the red-faced Senior Vice President of R&D and the nervous intern sitting beside her. "Thanks for bringing this matter to our attention, ladies. We take harassment allegations seriously at CENTIEN."

"Do you?" Lori looked at him with scathing skepticism. "I doubt that since you two are like Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum." She removed her glasses and gave Sinclair the narrow-eyed glare she reserved for unredeemable perverts.

"Of course, this company does. CENTIEN's ranked in the top five places for corporate female advancement. Sinclair cracked his knuckles and gave her a knowing side glance. "Admit it, Lori, this is another one of your lame attempts to smear my reputation. You're pissed because you were passed over for another promotion."

He pointed at Evelyn. "You're acting like a vengeful sock puppet that's trying to get back at me for demoting you to the mailroom. Tsk, tsk, I thought you were smarter than that." The handsome CEO shook his head dismissively. Leaning forward, he snatched a multi-colored Rubik cube from his neatly organized desktop.

"That's not true." Evelyn gritted her teeth.

"Did you forget I was in today's meeting?" Lori said. "Don't lie, you piece of shit." Her shoulders hunched forward. "The ethics complaint we filed is documented and it's been substantiated."