The Asshole App (Expanded Version) ✅ Wattys2023

𝟦𝟫 𝖫𝖾𝗍 𝖲𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖣𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖫𝗂𝖾

If they can make you believe absurdities, they can make you create atrocities. -Voltaire.

With one final twist, Vince solved the Rubik Cube. It came apart revealing a small pedometer-like device.

"That's the App. Let it scan your retina, Mr. Lear." Vince tossed the unit to Evelyn so she could hold the device up to Lear's face, just as she had seen Raymond do in the Tesla. Nothing happened. "I don't know how to activate it." She fiddled with the silver ICARUS device, pressing buttons first on the side and then on top. A bluish-white prompt came on. After a minute, the infrared light scanned Lear's eyes, and the ICARUS winged icon loaded onto the screen. The heard a whirring noise and the door vibrated as BIG DOG's rotating tongue ground through metal. His muzzle punched into the room.

"Oh, Jeezus, that monster's drilled through the door," Lear shouted.

There was a burst of static in their headsets. The scratchy noise stopped and Raymond's urgent voice came back online as he, Deedee, and Thanatos entered the  lobby. "We're on the first floor. We're coming up."

They heard the inexperienced young security guard yelling, in the background, as he bolted for the exit. "I never believed you killed anyone, Mr.  Sinclair!"

With a screech of metal, the rest of BIG DOG's body crashed through the door.  Menacingly, his Goliath head tracked each person in the room like a  large, black anaconda. "It can't decide who to attack first." Vince declared.

"No, it's hesitating because its tongue is broken." Lear announced.

BIG DOG made broken garbage disposal sounds as it tried to retract its silver telephone cord tongue. "Let's hope it's crotch is broken too." Vince cried.

"We have to split up and distract it." If the others come up with BIG DOG waiting, broken tongue or not, they'll be sitting ducks."

Taking the activated  ICARUS device with her, Evie flew past the dog and into the hallway.  Just like a real hound, the DARPA dog's programmed prey instinct kicked  in. He gave chase. His broken metallic tongue hung out of his mouth and dragged after him like a long, silver leash. She rushed to the stairwell and ducked down as BIG DOG sailed over her head. Bouncing off the railing, as if he was doing moguls, he landed beneath her.

Damn, he's fast. His eyes look dimmer, as if he's losing energy.

Slamming the stairwell door, Evelyn retraced her steps as BIG DOG scampered up the stairs after her.
Horrified, she watched the dog insert its tail into the keypad.

This thing is like a Swiss knife on steroids.

Snarling, Big Dog opened the door and entered the hallway. Unsteadily, he crouched and prepared to launch.

The elevator doors opened. "Evie, move your ass!" Holding the gun against her shoulder, Lori stepped out into the hallway.

BIG DOG launched.

Lori blasted him mid-air. He crashed into the wall. A shell fell out the gun and she racked it. BIG DOG woozily got to his feet. The blast hadn't damaged his titanium exterior, but it had drained his energy. 

"Stay down." Lori ordered.

The dog shuddered as if conflicted. He slowly moved forward. Like a real, flesh-and-blood dog, he ran out of steam, his legs beginning to slow. When he reached Lori, he raised his leg and prepared to shoot her with his crotch. Instead, he fell over sideways, his backup battery dead.

"Finally." Evie cried. Exhausted, she sank down on the floor, breathing heavily with her back propped up against the wall. The elevator doors opened and the rescue team spilled out into the hallway, guns raised.

"I'm over here, Ray." She called. Raising her hand, she triumphantly showed him the ICARUS device. "I have the ICARUS app."