Chapter 15 - Alec

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Alec lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. In his head, a woodpecker seemed to keep knocking incessantly. He was trying to figure out why he was in Magnus' guest room. He realized he had obviously been drunk yesterday, for the signs of a hangover were unmistakable. His brain was pulsating and he was terribly thirsty. He saw the water on the bedside table, and sat up. Then he saw the painkillers there. A pleasant warmth ran through him, feeling the care. Two pills were on a piece of paper with something written in Magnus' handwriting. He quickly took the pills, drank the water and began to read.

"In case you can't remember why you're here. You've been drinking. A lot. You were drunk. You said you were gay. You kissed me. DON'T PANIC!!! It was the most craved kiss of my life, even if you smelled of vodka. If you hadn't fainted, you probably would have woken up in my arms in my bed today. However, we need to talk. When you're ready, I'm in the next room. (PS- my date was awful)"

"God, what have I done?" he groaned again,and buried his face in his hands. He was definitely in panic. He looked at the paper again.

Then he remembered Magnus' eyes, the way those beautiful chocolate eyes looked at him and remembered his sandalwood scent. He faintly remembered the sweet touch of his soft lips. But all memories were a blur. Then his stomach turned. Not from Magnus, but from all the alcohol. He ran to the bathroom, just in time, and threw up everything. Magnus woke up at the sound, ran into the guest room. Alec was sitting on the bathroom floor.

"Are you OK Alexander?"

He looked up, still sitting on the floor. He was pale as a ghost. Then he started to vomit, knelt down by the toilet bowl and threw up what was left in his stomach. Magnus stood worriedly in the bathroom with a wet towel and a glass of water in his hand. Alec took the glass of cold water that Magnus handed him. As Alec knelt by the toilet bowl and looked up at Magnus, he felt terribly miserable.

"So sorry." he breathed, barely audible.

Magnus helped him up. He brushed his teeth and they went into the room. Alec sat down on the edge of the bed. He wiped his face with the wet towel and took a few more sips of water. Magnus sat next to him.

"I think I have some explaining to do."

Magnus looked at him, nodded as he closed his eyes, remembering yesterday, and brushed his thumb across his own lips. Alec looked at him, swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry. I..."

Magnus put his index finger to his lips, barely touching it. He felt Alec's warm breath on the tip of his finger.

"Alexander, I wanted to. A lot. No need to apologize. Do you remember everything?"

"I only vaguely remember. Your letter helped... He looked at him desperately... It wasn't the kiss I regretted, it was the secrecy. Yesterday I thought I'd lost you forever. I didn't want it that way. I didn't want to tell you this way. '' whispered Alec

"Were you going to tell me?"

"That's why I came here."

"Wait. You were here? When? I understand less and less. So it wasn't just the alcohol that was talking yesterday. You said before you passed out that you didn't want to lose me. I'm confused. What about Camille? Yesterday you said you were gay. I wrote to Camille, but she didn't answer."

"What did you write to her?"

"Nothing, I didn't dare to tell her that you kissed me. I just asked if we could talk. Yesterday you said your lover was seeing someone else. I thought Camille cheated on you, and that's why this is happening. Then you said I was your loved one and you didn't want to lose me. You kissed me. I lost my control, and I kissed you back. Alexander, what's going on?"

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