{secret}

{emotions and secrets}

Before I start I'm like 100% not mentally here when I'm writing these cuz I usually write these at 1-4am until I'm tired I do proof read but never correct things until they come out
——————————
(Devon's pov)
The morning after me and Jakes talk was calm it's always cold and lately I've been ranting to Lexi about how bad I've been crushing on Jake I mean he's so sweet and his hair?! Well before he fucked it up I mean everything about him is perfect
I met up with Lexi during the morning I had a lot to say I mean alot.

"I mean we had the longest hug it felt longer then the other one I told you about and and he was smiling and laughing alot!!" I say in a low shout with a big smile on my face while Lexi just stared at me "I'm starting to think you both feel the same way about each other...." She teases "impossible he wouldn't like me I took juniors side and I mean I told him why but at the same time I alway ignored him!" I was knees down for Jake but him liking me was just impossible I mean seriously. "Listen you both have had the longest convos grew up around each other and when you guys were biking back home you felt a moment a spark.. if that dosent say something.." she furrowed a brow suddenly I hear the most familiar voice Behind us "hey guys!" It was Nadine and Jake next to her he sat down next to me as usual and she sat next to Lexi.

"What took you guys so long..?" Lexi ask "oh uh we just helped out someone..." I side eye Jake seeing him eye down on Nadine as she smiles awkwardly clearly lying I look at Jakes body movement he had his hand rustling in his pocket and I was gonna find out what it was alone of course I'm not going to lecture him in public I'll just have to catch him alone. Wait is that werid? Nah well nah.
——————
I walk down the hallway in the afternoon to see if Jake was in the dark library drawing and he was it was quite silent and peaceful i enter the room going to where Jake is scanning the room to see a couple people being Trevor and his group but they are far from us. I sit down next to Jake as it grabs his attention he places down his pen ask his frown turns into a smile "hey I don't see you here alot?" He questions "oh yeah I had a question.." his eyebrows furrow maybe if I'm direct it will be less awkward asking. "What's up?" He ask i look away for a second I see his smile fading "so what actually took you guys long... this morning.. you don't have to tell me now or ever but I know you weren't helping out someone you barely talk to anyone.." I say quietly I hope it wasn't akward to him like it was for me..

"I had a feeling you would catch on.." he smiles "I went to go get my pills back Trevor he... took my pills to frame Lexi.. so I had to go sneak my pills back Nadine is great at stealing...that's why she's here so she got them for me.." it was actually a good reason to be late I'm glad he's aware of some things I guess that's why he panicked yesterday. With no thought I place my hand on his knee as me and him stare at each other I felt that same spark that same energy I did at the hill when we were riding back home from her house. It felt so real I let go of his knee quickly grabbing my bag and leaving I probably made him uncomfortable or something but it was weird it felt so weird..
__________
{2 weeks later}
(Back to jakes pov)
I find it quite hard to communicate with others it puts me in fear that I might fumble something or fuck it up with one word however I always feel like I can talk to him he listens he cares I mean if he dose just see me as a friend I'll let him I just don't want to lose him because I'm being stupid.
"Jake!" I look at the mirror the bathroom was empty and Devon was at the door I was brushing my teeth while thinking?...
"I've been wondering what took you so long" I spit out my tooth paste washing out my mouth and brush "slamming it on the rim of the sink.

"Sorry..I was just thinking" he looks at me concerned but I wasn't I was slowly losing my mind in here and now that it's November the year is getting closer to ending and I have nothing to cherish. We walk back to our room as Devon talks about some comics or something I was to tired today we had no school since they were planning on some fancy thanksgiving dance/feast I guess they don't do breaks around here. I flop on my bed as Devon shuts the door going to his side I'm probably gonna sleep all day so this depressing pain can just fade.