{secret}

{feelings}

HEYOO so I'm just gonna say this now that I will be skipping past weeks because I have a chapter based off of New Year's Eve Jevon style so I'm passing through the months where it's thanksgiving then Christmas if you catch my drift so hope you understand if it's rushed<33
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(Dec 1st)
{7:30Am}
It's snowing a lot then I thought but it's good I've recently sat at the libary window seat to draw and Its pretty cool I haven't talked to anyone in a while lately I've been hanging out with Samuel he's a cool dude i respect him a-lot.
"Hey Jake!" I hear Samuel call I turn to see him walking towards me sitting next to me when he arrived "hey" I smile he smiles back at me "whatcha drawing?" He ask "oh uh I don't actually know" lies I drew another based drawing of two boys kissing in a galaxy how pathetic "cool cool... so I had a question" I look up at him furrowing my brows "what's up?" I ask "would you like to.. hang out at my dorm today?" We've known each other for a month and we haven't hung just talked and honestly it doesn't seem bad I would love to "yeah of course" I respond "cool" he grabs my pencil and sketch book writing something in the corner then passing it back to me and placing my pencil in my hand it felt tingly? I look at him in confusion "cool drawing by the way you should bring some today I wanna see some more" he winks leaving I felt confused and flustered? How dose one feel that way I look at the corner of my paper it was his dorm room number '106 I have no roomies ;)' I laugh before closing my sketchbook I should head back to the dorm.
———
As I'm walking up I spot the Trevor he looks at me and signals me to go near him werid I walk towards him "what's up?" I ask clutching my bag "Jake did you tell Devon about the secret?!" He says distressed my eyes widen "no I swear I kept my mouth shut why?!" I panic I'm so getting beat "well father Bryce just told us that he will be separating us for good because of our relationship" I hated this asshole god "well I didn't say shit!" I defend he rolls his eyes "I doubt it you don't know how to keep your mouth shut do you?!" He gets closer he's quite intimidating "w-what no I swe-" before I could speak he decks me In the face it felt exactly how my father hits me just lightly "take the warning Jake find out who snitched and you won't get beat up!" I couldn't move I felt frozen ptsd massive my heart beat picked up it's paste it felt like the world was ending I leave out a big breath "what the fuck is your problem?!" I ask him him feeling my face I walk away this asshole I'm always to kind.
———
I get to the dorm where Devon is just chilling I slam our door shut taking off my bag Devon greets me but I don't respond I panick searching for my pills shaking as I open the bottle sweating what was happening the bottle fell out of my hands and the pills were everywhere "shit shit!" "Jake it's ok I'll help" Devon try reassuring as we pick up the pills putting them in the bottle Devon looks at me "Jake what's wrong?" I couldn't breathe I felt out of air I sit on my bed shaking my knee "f-fuck you" all I can let out I break into tears Devon sits next to me "Jake what happened?!" I try telling him but while I was ranting i slipped out the fact my dad beats me it wasn't on purpose it was just stress! "Wait your dad dose what?!" My eyes widen I look at Devon as he looks at me I wipe my tears aggressive "nothing h-he dose nothing you didn't hear anything and you forget we talked about this!" I demanded he seemed so concerned and if course he was going to leave it alone.

"Jake your dad fucking hits you?! How long have you've been going through this?" He ask I finally tone down I already spilled out another secret might as well tell him "since my mom passed away.." I don't want to make eye contact with him it's embarrassing I've spilt out the truth to him way to much here "Jake that was years ago!" I breathe in and out "I know.." I wrapped my arms around myself I'm aware that things are rough to me but this was extra rough. Suddenly I feel arms around my waist squeezing me I wrapped my arms around him as I leaned my nose in his shoulder I let out air in this moment I just wanted to kiss him this moment felt different it felt what I felt when he touched my knee when we were at the hill when we were talking at lunch when he grabbed my shoulder it felt so unreal I had tingles and so many words.
"I love you.." I said knowing it muffled in his  chest "what?"  I remove my face from his chest as were face to face "I'm sorry.." "why?" He ask "I should've told you sooner I trust you but I don't want my dad in jail he wasn't always the way he was.." "Jake people change and that's what happened to your father he changed.."