SIX The Musical Group Chat

Smile

~this is a short story from Cathy's perspective, it is placed a while after they are in Six and stuff~

You know that feeling where you're not sad, but you just need to cry? You just need to have a moment where you're not strong. Where you can be weak and not afraid. I hide behind laughter and smiles, behind confidence and volume, but I am fragile. I remember the times when people hurt me. I remember those more than when they make me feel warm.

I remember all the times I said, "It's fine." when I was hurting inside.

I remember all the times they've walked away, not seeing the pain behind my smile.

I don't cry. I don't feel sad, but I know I am not okay. I haven't cried from sadness in months.

Some might think that's a good thing, but I know it's not. There were times when I could have cried, but I didnt.

When I act I draw on the mask I always wear.

When I write I draw on the sadness I always hide.

Most people think I'm just good at my craft, they think I just use big words and phrases to create a good story. They think that I have never suffered from anything that I write about.

They are wrong.

Good stories are not common, a good story is a story that the author pours their heart and soul into.

Emotions are not written from pure imagination, emotions come from the heart. If an author manages to describe one in a way that hits hard... well, then you know they write from the heart. You know that they have experienced that feeling, that they have suffered as their characters have.

You can burst into tears in your room, alone, but you aren't truly sad until you realize that no one knows how unhappy you really are.

If you look closely you can see that every now and then, when I turn away from my friends, and for a second my smile fades, my eyes become sad, my expressions practiced and repeated, like a robot. But then I turn back, smiling and laughing.

It's like my mind is asking, "Are you okay dear?"

And my heart is responding, "No, I'm not. But I will not cry, I will be silent, completely silent."

And I know I have friends, but I feel like I have no one to talk to about the shit that goes on in my life, but I also know that I don't have a lot of shit going on! Im just sad, and I can't explain why. That's the reason I keep my tears silent, I can't explain them.

The worst kind of sadness is when the tears don't fall, when you are surrounded by friends and family but your alone, in the dark, waiting for someone to rescue you.

But no one does. Because you act like everything is fine. And they can't see past your smile.