Today we talked.
You started the conversation.
I was so fucking happy, I couldn't help but do a happy dance.
I was previously watching sad music videos on YouTube.
But one got to me, and I couldn't help but to cry.
It was the All I Want by Kodaline music video.
It was so sad.
I cried and cried.
But then, your name popped up in my screen.
It was 2am.
"Go to sleep ya weirdo" the text read.
I was really happy, and I smiled to myself.
We talked and talked for a few more hours until I said goodbye and that I was sleepy.
I almost said, "I love you" but I didn't want him to leave me on seen like the previous time.
So I just stayed with a "Goodnight Christian", and he replied by saying "no! Not yet, I want to keep talking to you." That fucking made my day.
Weird how a simple text can make your day, huh?
But then again.
My friend told me that he knows someone who likes me.
He said that I will have a new boyfriend by June.
I was weirded out by that because, goddamn who will actually have feelings for such an ugly human being?
I kept on asking him who this mystery guy is.
He said that I will find out in June once he asks me out.
I'm just like very happy and confused.
Because I don't want to loose the chances of having Christian all over again.
I want to be able to call him mine again.
He always used to tell me, "You're just mine, only for me." And that made me giddy all the time and happy and smiley and I couldn't ever help but blush.
We literally hugged like 20 million times a day.
But that was the past.
And I want that to occur again.
I miss his hugs so damn much.
The way he wrapped his arms around my waist and I around his neck to put my head against his neck.
Holy mother of god I miss him so much.
But he likes someone else now.
And I can't help but be sad.
