Our Soul Divided

05| Witness

Athena

I stare at Stetson as his gaze zips all over the room. I see him look at me like he wants to kiss me, but he doesn't. I don't know if that's what he needs right now, but it is certainly what I want.

Except that I shouldn't want that.

Dorian just gave his life for me, and the last thing that I can remember is that we were finally coming to the realization that I did love him. But I had my doubts about how I loved him and if it was what he needed.

It wasn't.

Dorian deserved the kind of love that I felt on that hilltop with Stetson. It was one of the only memories that I had regained since our–my escape. The other was a memory of Dorian basically giving me a way to Stetson.

I only wish I could remember everything in between.

I look at Stetson again and he is looking at my lips again. I feel a pull toward him. Almost as if a metaphorical rope is being pulled tight between us.

I move my face slowly to his. I watch as his pupils dilate and his breathing hitches. He freezes in place.

I inch closer still until I can feel his breath on my lips. He swallows hard. "Can I kiss you?" he whispers.

I don't give him an answer and I don't wait. I softly press my lips to his. My whole body ignites and I feel the same feeling from the memory. I can't think about anything except how his mouth feels on mine, how his arms feel as they settle around me, how his warmth feels like home as his tension melts and his body relaxes underneath me.

His whimpers softly, and it fuels my passion. I kiss him harder and climb into his lap. When I settle, I have one leg folded on either side of his thighs and I am holding his face in my hands.

"Athena..." he pleads between kisses.

I pull back and look at his face. He almost looks like he's in pain.

I scramble off of his lap and back to my place next to him, "I–I'm sorry. This must be weird for you, and I shouldn't be–"

"No, stop. Listen," he says as he cradles my face in his hands and forces me to meet his gaze.

I swallow back the tears that are burning my throat.

"I am trying to give you the time that you need–or space. I dunno. I just don't want to push you into anything. I–"

He pauses and I say nothing, but I am fighting tears harder now. "I don't need space," I mumbled. "I need you." The last part sounded much better in my head and I hope he didn't hear it.

He brings me into his arms and hugs me tightly to his chest as he lies back on the bed. When he settles, we are laying side by side, but he has a tight grip on my whole body. My head is pressed to his chest with his hands, his arms are wrapped around my shoulders, and his leg is wrapped over my legs.

I'm warm, I'm safe. I'm home.

I feel his body shake with a sob beneath me. "Stet?"

I try to pull my head back, but he holds it to him.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"Mhm," comes his soft reply.

"But you're... crying?"

"I am not crying." He releases his grip on my head to look me in the eye. He is, indeed, crying. His eyes are rimmed red, but he's smiling.

"I'm just... overwhelmed. Happy?"