Our Soul Divided

16| Trapped

Athena

Stetson is pacing back and forth cursing under his breath. Apparently, another camp has been attacked not far from here. The people that Stetson helped, the people that he says depended on him to protect them.

I have tried to tell him that he can't protect everyone and that he's carrying too much, but he cut me off and wouldn't hear it. Every once in a while, I touch his back or his shoulder and will myself to take some of his stress away as I had done before, but it doesn't seem to be working.

"Something's not right," he mumbles to himself on the one-thousandth turn in his room. "Why are they attacking other camps?"

"What are they after?" I ask softly.

He stops for the first time in an hour and stares directly at my face.

"Are you serious?" I blink at his hostility. "You, Athena. And me for 'harboring' you. And anyone who stands in their way."

"Yeah, but why?" I ask.

"I don't know, Atti," he nearly shouts in exasperation. "Why did they hold you in that room, sleeping for god knows how long?"

"I don't remember anything, I can't see what use I could be to them," I am speaking more to myself than him.

"Apparently they know something that we don't. You're valuable to them," he says as he starts his pacing once more.

"What about Rain?" I dared ask. "Why did they take her alive?"

"My guess is that they knew you were there. They saw me, he talked to me, he left me alive. They took her to try and pull information from her about you," he says the last part through gritted teeth.

"You think they're torturing her?" I gasp.

He stops and his shoulders hang in defeat as he slouches onto the edge of the bed next to me.

"Yeah, I do," he murmurs, "And I don't think they'll stop until she's dead. Rain won't crack."

My chest cracks open and I feel tears well up in my eyes as I watch him break in front of me.

"You're strong," I say. "We can do this together." I place my hand over his shoulder and he lifts his arm to settle his hand over mine.

I try once more to will myself to take some of his hurt, his fear, his stress. I feel nothing but my own emotions overwhelm me and he sinks further into his darkness.

"We need a plan," I whisper.

"That's the thing," Stetson presses his lips together in a pause. "That was always Dorian's forte. He made the plans, he ran the security, he gave the orders."

"And what did you do?" I asked quietly, hoping to learn more about what I missed while I was gone.

"I took care of the people, I brought new people in, I found people's families, I ventured out and brought back materials and food. Now... Well, now I'm expected to handle it all. And I can't. I'm failing them. I'm failing him."

Suddenly, I realize why he's been so angry and stressed. The second stage of grief. Anger. But Stetson is selfless. So, he's angry with himself and he's blamed himself for all of this.

"You know you couldn't have changed anything. He was headstrong and he would have gone in anyway. He did what you knew he would do for you as well. It's not your fault," I tell him.

"I would give anything..." he pauses in thought for a moment, "I'd give anything to take his place. He could have been here, he could've protected you better than I can. If I'd gone in instead of him, you both would be better off."