You Are My Idol

Chapter VI

Warning: This chapter can be aggressive for sensitive people. Please keep in mind that this is just fiction and never follow the lead of the characters. Thanks.

There I was locked inside my room one more night in my miserable life. It was just me and my new friend, a blade. The thing that helped me dealing with the pain right now was a blade, with her, every time that I couldn't take it anymore, I would make a cut on my left arm. And I would continue cutting myself until I was feeling slightly better.

My life was getting worse at school and at home. At school my grades were dropping, because every time I opened my mouth someone would mocking me and post it only. I had anxiety and panic attacks. I would faint in the middle of the class apparently for no logical reason, the only reason was my body giving up on me also.

At home, well you can guess, my grades were dropping so my parents were making my life even more miserable. I was almost all the time in detention, the good thing about it was during that time I was completely alone. Or so I thought.

One day during one of my detentions I was trying to deal with my thoughts, and I couldn't take it anymore. All I heard inside of my head were those kids at school mocking me, my parents at home saying that I was worthless that I wasn't even good to do the only thing I needed that was studying. So, I took my blade and made one cut, in that moment my mother entered the room and caught me.

She came to me and slapped me. I was speechless, I didn't think that after her seeing that, she would have such reaction to it.

-What do you think you are doing? Give me that and go clean that up. - she screamed at me like that was the most common thing to do. – And make sure nobody sees that at school.

I was going to say that I have been doing that for quite sometime and until now no one noticed, but I couldn't. I just kept quiet and went to the bathroom to cover that up. She took my blade so I needed to find another thing or another one, I would take care of that the next day at school.

The next day at school didn't start well.

-Good morning little brat! – Harper said to me, apart from mocking me that was the first time that she talked to me.

-What do you want Harper? – I didn't even rase my voice, I didn't have the strength to do it.

-A little bird told me that you are having problems at home. That doesn't surprise me, not even to be a daughter you serve. – Harper start laughing with the others.

That it me really hard, I was going to the bathroom, like always, but then I remembered that I didn't have my blade. I went to the classroom and sat on the floor next to the door. Without I even notice I start hyperventilating, it was like I was under water, and I didn't have oxygen to breath. My chest was as tight as if someone had sat on it. My heart was beating fast as I had run a mile and all my body was trembling. I didn't know what was going on or what I had to do.

Suddenly someone came to me, I don't remember if it was a teacher or someone from school. I just heard from far:

-She is not well, call an ambulance.

I looked around me and a I saw all the students looking at me like I was some freak. No, one more thing for they to mock me, this couldn't be happening. The more that I thought about it the more I would get worse.

The ambulance came and the paramedics took me to the hospital. After they gave me medication and I slept for some time a doctor came in with my mother. I knew I was getting yelled at, she hated being called from work specially after last night.

-So, feeling better Layla? – The doctor smiled at me while asking.

I nodded my head and she continued.

-Great, you are totally fine, you just had a panic attack. Do you have any idea what could've caused that?

-No, I don't remember anything. – I lied with all my teeth.

-Okay and about this? Did you hurt yourself? – she was pointing right to the marks in my arms.

-I tried to catch a cat to take him from the streets and that happen. – well done Layla blame an innocent cat. – But my mom took care of it so I'm fine now.

-I see, well you can go home and next time leave the cats alone. – she gave me my papers and smiled.

I went out of the hospital, I didn't even look at my mother to face her I was too scared for that. She didn't say a word until we got home. I was expecting screaming and detention but instead she just told me to go rest in my room that she would call me to eat.

-Layla before you go, your detention is over here is your cell phone don't make me regret about giving it to you.

-I won't. Thank you, mom.

Maybe this fright wasn't that bad. Maybe things will get better. In my room I opened my cell phone, and I noticed that I had a text message from a strange number saying:

"Hi Layla. Harper gave me your number. When you get your cell phone back answer me, I would like to talk to you."