Sydney Mdlalose's Ever After

Chapter Thirty-Eight

It's been two days and Andre haven't shared a room ever since and I've never seen Karen happier than she is nowadays.

I've decided to cut all this misery short and pack my bags and go home. The tension is unbearable, and maybe the sooner I tell Mama about everything, the more relieved I'll feel. She won't be happy about my education that's been cut short though, again.

But I've decided to find an affordable college and continue my studies instead of sitting at home and feeling sorry for myself.

A knock sounds at the bedroom door. "Come in." Karen pokes her head in before entering. "Hey. I, uh just wanted to tell you that I'm willing to take you home."

I roll my eyes in my mind and nod at her. "Alright, thank you." Karen folds her arms. "I never thought I'd see this day, unless you and Andre were leaving together."

I chuckle. "I'm sure you must be super ecstatic." Karen frowns. "Absolutely not, Sydney. You're like a daughter to me." I look at her and smirk. "You're so pretentious and contradictory of everything you do and say."

I focus back on packing my bags. "On the other hand, I'll just get Jason to drive you home." I nod and smile. "Works for me." She leaves the room, banging the door.

I chuckle more. She's not getting whatever satisfaction she came here looking for.

Once I'm done, I take my bags with me downstairs. The whole family is already there, obviously waiting for me. I sigh and pause before them all. Andre keeps a clear facial expression, his arms folded.

Karen hugs me. "I hope all goes well for you." Jason smiles at me and steps closer to me. "Let me know if you ever need anything. Please." I nod. Jason steps back. "There's a car waiting outside that'll take you to Gugulethu." That tells me that neither were willing to take me home.

"Goodbye then." "I'll walk you out." Andre says. He takes my bags from my hands and takes them to the car.

He closes the boot and looks at me. I keep my head down. "I'm sorry things ended this way." He moves his hands into his front pockets. "Yeah, me too." Andre kisses my forehead and opens my door. I get into the car.

The car starts to drive off and my heart instantly starts to ache.

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When I finally get to Gugulethu, I find my mother already waiting for me with an apologetic smile.

She helps me remove my bags from the car along with the driver before we walk up to the house.

After living in the mansion for so long, this house feels awfully too small. I exhale. "I cooked, in case you're hungry." I nod and smile. "Thank you, Mama."

We place my bags in my room and sit down in the kitchen. Mama dishes for both of us. She sits down across from me and places her hand above mine. "Kwenzekeni ngane yami(what happened my child)?"

I look down at my plate and sigh, afraid that I'll disappoint her with my story. I slowly start to tell it from the very beginning at our wedding after-party. I look up momentarily and Mama's shocked expression gets worse and worse.

She gasps when I tell her about Andre's accident and what I had done that night. By now, I can feel the disappointment in me myself. I go on as to how I fell pregnant and who's child it was and that's when my marriage completely collapsed into dust.

Mama's hand is covering her mouth whilst another is now rested on her shoulder.

"Uyazi ubaba wayo(does it's father)?" I nod and shut my eyes. "And ngeke ak'size ekukhulisweni kwayo(and he won't help in raising it)?" I shut my eyelids tighter. "There's nothing to raise, Mama." I open my eyes but keep them on the plate of now cold food.

Mama doesn't say anything for a while.

"Sydney. Uy'bhulele ingane(you killed the baby)?" Mama asks, her voice slightly harsh. I know how my mother doesn't believe in abortions. How she hates them. "Mama, bengithi uAndre angeke ang'shiye kodwa manje angisena lutho(I thought Andre wouldn't leave me but now I have nothing)."

I start sobbing. "Ngyaxolisa Mama. Ngibe islima and ngeke ngiz'xolele(I'm sorry Mama. I was an idiot and I'll never forgive myself)."

Mama stands up and goes to the room.

I sob alone on the kitchen table. Mama returns to the kitchen minutes later. She sits across from me, her eyes puffy. "I shouldn't have sent you there." She cries and wipes her tears. "It's my fault. You didn't want to go and I pushed it."

I sniff and sigh. "No Mama, I'm glad I did. It didn't go how I had expected it to, but I was happy for the most of it. I'm the one who ruined things for myself. It's not your fault."

Mama shuts her eyes. "I never expected that Andre would ever allow you to abort a child. Ever." I nod. "I know, Mama. Nami bengalindele(I didn't expect it either), considering Elizabeth's story." Mama frowns in question but doesn't say anything.

"Does Keith know?" Mama asks. I shake my head. "No, he went back to Seattle."

Mama stands from her chair and hugs me. "Don't worry ngane yami(my child). As long as we have each other, we'll be fine. We will make a plan."

I hug my mother back, savoring the heartfelt moment.

My life found the twists of a fairytale, but my fairytale found no happy ending. And for that reason alone, it makes it mine.