Bittersweet

13

You were perfect
And I never could ever amount
to that much perfection
I just hoped that you saw a shred of it
in me..
*******

The best way to avoid everyone?

Hide out in small downtown libraries that only nerds really knew about. Sure it was a little small, crowded, and smelled like old wood but that was the beauty of it.

That and the fact I pretty much was besties with the owners. They were used to me by now taking up my usual spot that now they clean up the newspapers that used to lounge on the table every morning.

I also quit my cafe job. It all became way too much. too many memories of things happening and I couldn't really focus anymore on my work. I decided I should really take my college finals seriously and now have been using my money to lounge around in other cafes around the city.

I haven't heard from Sameer in about three weeks. I haven't even got a glimpse of Kaif either. It was painful but it was in a weird way peaceful.

The distance between me and everyone grew and I kind of liked wondering around by myself. Well, except for Wazirah. She sometimes joined me in my studying adventures and I loved how comfortable the silence was with her.

Today however she could not join me. I sat alone, books sprawled our and my computer glaring at me to do work. I was too tired to really study and it was so early in the morning that I could not pick my head up from atop the open thick textbook.

The latte sitting to my right was getting colder but I didn't mind. I had a hard time falling asleep these days and it was not because of school unfortunately. It was due to the effects of how things went down between everyone. Sameer, last I heard, hasn't spoken to either Amir or Kaif. He won't even acknowledge them and it's making Amir hurt or so.

Malak and I have been distant. She's been really busy at work but she had left me a couple of voicemails.

I didn't really bother to deal with them. I knew she felt horrible and it did hurt that she wasn't really watching out for me. But it was okay. I shrugged it off. It's whatever.

When I started to realize that it was almost lunch I began to pack my bag with all the things I had spread out. My headache was growing and the studying I was supposed to be doing wasn't really getting through.

"Going home dear?" Stella, the old lady behind the counter called out, "I can warm up the latte you have there." She smiled kindly and it warmed up the chilly feeling that was growing inside of me.

I smiled back. "It's okay! Thank you I just have to get to school."

"Okay," She smiled again, her cheeks growing pink, "have a wonderful day then."

*******

I walked out and the chime on the door glistened. It was like a little goodbye.

As I fixed my bag securely on my shoulder, my keys fell into the pavement. I sighed and bent over to get them when a big slender hand reached instead and grabbed them.

I looked up, ready to start a fight when my breath caught in my throat. My eyes widened.

"In the flesh babes." Choji -or Henry if you knew him publicly- said with a wink. He looked the same except that he did look somehow older and his hair had grew longer but it was styled really well.

I gasped. "What are you doing here?" I looked around and nobody else was with him. Last I heard he was dating a girl from a really important family. 

His smile widened. "I've missed everyone, really." He jiggled my keys in his hands. "And I needed to come back to see what you guys were up to."