This is my letter to you
Letter to the man who
Decided I was pretty enough to touch
I lost all my friends
I lost all my emotions
My family thinks it's a phase with an end
But I know the truth and it's all thanks to you
I ruined my lungs and my liver
My hair's been getting thinner
I took a knife from the kitchen block
Cut up my body like I was in a butchers shop
I was never more than a piece of meat to you anyway
So why does it matter if I cut myself to feel sane?
To feel any semblance of pain, of emotion
You destroyed me
Are you happy?
Thanks to you
I lost my everything
I took an knife to my skin
To escape your touch
I took baths of ice
To escape your breath fanning my body
Your hands on my skin
The sickening feeling I get
Everytime someone impersonates it
I was nine when you thought it was fine
Now I'm seventeen and I still can't sleep at night
Everytime my friends make a joke
My breathing starts to quicken
Everytime someone gets close
My body flinches and tenses up
I ruined my lungs and my liver
My hair's been getting thinner
I wake up, with brusies on my chest
And an aching in my head
I can't be looked at
I can't be loved
The anxiety I get
When he walks up
It's too much
You left a mark on me
One you didn't expect to see
You're the reason I had to grow up
You're the reason I'm fucked up
You should be paying for my therapy
You should be bowing on your knees to me
Saying sorry, so I could hit you in nuts
Tell you it's not enough
But I'm still scared of you
I took a knife from the kitchen block
Cut up my body like I was in a butchers shop
You destroyed me
Take responsibility
Your the reason I wanted to die
Your the reason I tried for it five times
Your the reason I lost my love
Your the reason I'm never gonna be enough
