memento mori ◈| k.baudelaire (COMPLETED)

Ⅸ: The Carnivorous Carnival -edited

For Beatrice-
Our love broke my heart,
and stopped yours.

⋆

As the orphans sat in the trunk of Count Olaf's car, on their way to Caligari Carnival, they knew they were lucky all the way up until now, and hoped that their luck didn't run out. As the car stopped, the Baudelaires and Ana made their way out from the trunk and hid behind the front of the car. "Those are the Mortmain Mountains. My parents promised they would take me, on my thirteenth birthday." "Our parents did too. But- but not for our thirteenth birthday, just-just to take us." Klaus rambled.

"Count Olaf truly believes that one of our parents survived the fire enough to see a fortune teller." "I've never read any evidence to believe that fortune tellers are real." "It's not just any fortune teller." Violet motioned to the VFD symbol on the side and top of the tent. "Do you guys ever think, that maybe I don't know, one of the Quagmire parents survived, or I don't know their brother? Like seriously, you aren't the only orphans with enormous fortunes here." Ana interjected but was dismissed by the eldest Baudelaire, as they made their way to the tent to hear what the fortune teller told Olaf, and his troupe.

The orphans heard whatever fortune was being told, and it was the exact moment that had happened ever since Ana had met the Baudelaires. The only way for the children to find out about their parents, they would need to stay long enough to avoid Olaf. "You look horrendous." Ana snickered at Klaus, motioning to the fact that he and his sister are dressed in rags, are connected via the clothes, and look like they came back from the Nine Circles. "It's not fair. You called Esme's stuff." "Yea. Because I did gymnastics for ten years. I bend like gumbo." Ana said, wearing a skin tight baby pink body suit, with gold embellishments along the waist and neckline. "Gumby, you mean, gumby." "Uh, I'm pretty sure it's gumbo."

Madam Lulu, and Olaf stepped outside after hearing some noises, probably from Klaus' whining because he can't see without his glasses. "Who's out there? Reveal yourself." Olaf slurred. Ana walks out walking on her hands, with her legs bent over and falls in front of her face, as Klaus and Violet struggle to walk as one, while Sunny just crawls in front. "We're four- three freaks. We saw your ad, we want to work." Violet said in a southern accent. Count Olaf began to interview the children. "What did you say your names are?" "We didn't." "I'm Beverly, and this is my other head Elliot." "And I'm Leticia." Ana said with a southern accent as well, while standing back up on her legs.

"Lulu, you must hire these freaks at once!" Olaf said, after Klaus and Violet embarrassed themselves. "What about the other one? We haven't seen her do anything freak-like. And may I say, I love your outfit, it's so in." Esme added. Ana then bends backwards, until she lays on her chest with her legs over her head. Then she crawled her way through her legs, and got into a handstand and bent her legs, then proceeded to come back down, into the splits, then turn her back to face away from the theater troupe, then do a back walkover, to face them once again. "Do you even have any bones?" The man with hooks for hands asked. "That was disturbing---ly freaky! My god I thought your spine would break!" Count Olaf said, a little drunk. 

Sunny, was just being Sunny, as she has her freakishly sharp teeth, which gave her the backstory as half wolf, half human, named Chabo.

"Starting tomorrow, Elliot and Beverly will eat corn, Chabo will attack the audience, and Leticia...just bend and either scare, or wow the audience." Madam Lulu said, still in awe on how Ana bends so weirdly. "Any questions?" 

The orphans made their way to the house of freaks, Hugo, where a man with a hump on his back, Collette, a woman who beds like Ana, and Kevin, a man who was ambidextrous, awaited them.

"It's so nice to have someone like me!" Collette said. "Isn't it annoying when people ask if you have bones or not?" "Yes. Yes, of course. All the time." Ana replied. "Come here! Help me make bendy people for the gift shop." Collette said while dragging Ana to her side of the house. Ana mouthed a small 'sorry' to the Baudelaires, before turning to help Collette.